his little wife

Spikes of Discontent

2012-01-29T16:41:00.000-08:00

My friend, Mary, recommended a book that she was reading, and I picked it up and have also been enjoying it. For her thoughts, you can read her post here at Daily Graces.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
The poetic stream-of-conscious, unfiltered lyrical poetry of her writing is exactly right for this stage of my life - it's how I think, it's how I move, it's how I write. When there's so little time to quietly reflect, my reflections are fluid and filled with movement. The concept of the book is a renewed challenge to me toward something I started independently a year ago when I was really struggling to see God's goodness in my life. I was weary and nauseous from an unexpected pregnancy (my sweet Millie) while caring for my toddler and a friend's toddler - in the midst of support raising and cramped living next to a thundering airport. The darkness overwhelmed the light most days. One day I tore a piece of notebook paper out of a pad and jotted down the Lord's mercies over each past hour. As I read about Voskamp's experience doing the same, I had to smile because it had the same effect in my life at the time as hers did - I actually found joy compounded simply by recording how the Lord had loved and provided for me in the small ways.

I let the discipline go and know now that I shouldn't have. I sometimes joke with Jesse that I'm not a pessimist - I'm "just a realist." But in my heart, I know that's a lie. I believe the worst, I listen to the lies that the enemy and my flesh feed me about God and myself. I don't just do it occasionally but I do it daily, hourly, even by the second.

She says,

This is why I never really learned the language of "thanks in all things"! Though pastors preached it, I still came home and griped on. I had never practiced. Practiced until it became the second nature, the first skin. Practice is the hardest part of learning, and training is the essence of transformation.

And again,

Nails driving out my habits of discontent and driving in my habit of eucharisteo. I'm hammering in nails to pound out nails, ugly nails that Satan has pierced through the world, my heart. It starts to unfold, light in the dark, a door opening up, how all these years it's been utterly pointless to try to wrench out the spikes of discontent. Because that habit of discontentment can only be driven out by hammering in one iron sharper. The sleek pin of gratitude. (emphasis mine)

I think it may not be necessary for everyone to take the discipline as "far" as Voskamp in writing down a thousand blessings. But I have started again and have found it to maybe - just maybe - be the key to learning gratitude. I hope in a month, a year, or two years, I will be able to see growth in contentment and gratitude in my life.

Home

2012-01-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

It is with great pleasure that I announce that we own a home and have begun re-settling. What a whirlwhind the past six months have been!

In August we put an offer on a house we never thought we'd really be approved to buy. We were kept waiting for much longer than we ought to have been, but we finally closed the first week of November. We moved into our little 1940's house with its many quirks and oddities. I am dreaming of the many ways we will reinvent it as our own. It is on a 3/4 acre plot with a beautiful grass yard in front and a whole lot of gravel and a huge shop in back.
In September we packed up all our belongings and started moving them into a storage unit back home in Kent. I was stressed.
In October we spent a week and a half with Jesse's family and spoke at a missions conference. Then we drove 5 hours back "home" (which was to my parents' house since we had moved out of our apartment), stayed overnight with them and flew out the next morning to Denver. We were in Denver for three weeks for a training before going on the field. With nowhere to live when we got back to Seattle.
November saw the purchase of our house, traveling back to Seattle for a few days with my family and moving! We got in our new house November 11, celebrated Lyddie's second birthday, went back to Kent for Thanksgiving and then back to the Rez to continue settling in.
December is a blur, I can't even really remember. Jesse did a lot of work with the Christmas ministry with the team and I was home a lot with the girls. It was a lot of adjustment and I was missing my family and friends pretty bad over Christmas. The girls had a lovely Christmas, I think, and that was my big priority; to slow down, put aside unpacking and spend time enjoying them and the reason we celebrate Christmas and I think I succeeded.

So that brings us to today. I am tired and ready to see what the next year holds for us. Right now I am focused on finishing "moving in" - we are all unpacked but it takes so much thought and planning to get a house in order and make it really feel like home. We are talking paint and furniture and crown molding, chicken coops, goat sheds, and garden space. There is much to do and a lifetime in which to do it.

My Cards

2011-09-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

A little over a year ago, a friend showed me how she was able to keep track of everything when she had three very young children and helped me set up my own system to try out at home. It has been so wonderful and has really aided me in organizing my work here at home. I was talking today with a friend about feeling overwhelmed with everything going on in our respective lives and I started telling her about "my cards." So, for you, Morgan, here are the pictures- and anyone else who might be interested.

Here's how it works: each day of the month has a divider (as seen in the picture below), and each activity (whether a chore, something fun, an errand, etc) has its own card that is color coded by frequency. For example, everything I do daily is a white card, everything I do once a week is a green card, every other day is orange, monthly is pink, bimonthly is blue, and yearly is purple.

I also am beginning to use this as an address book and it also stores my grocery money and other random tidbits I need to access later like birthday gift ideas, errands I need to run, etc.

Each day as I finish up the tasks, I fill in the date for "last done" or "skipped" if I didn't get to it that day and then file it under the next day that card will come up (like grocery shopping gets filed a week later). I only allow myself to skip a card twice in a row, so if I have skipped it two times, the third time it comes up, it needs to be a priority. This keeps me from putting off unpleasant chores indefinitely, like deep cleaning the fridge.

So, why bother with this? Why not just do a traditional chore chart? For me, this has been so great. I don't just keep adding stuff to a to-do list until I keel over and die of exhaustion. I actually finish the work for the day and sit down with Jesse to spend time together. Every once in a while I get busy and put the cards aside (like when we were traveling so much this summer) and I always feel so scattered again and have such difficulty focusing and prioritizing. As soon as I put my cards back in order again, I feel so much better and our home is a much more peaceful place. I also am sure to have cards for "fun things" like knitting and reading. That way I am sure to make time for those things in my life.

In case anyone is confused or trying to figure out what in the world I have for cards, here's a list with samples:

Daily: spend time in Scripture and prayer, clean kitchen, sweep kitchen, tidy up the bathroom, tidy up living room, sort and file away mail, dinner prep, read, devotions with Jesse, etc.

Every other day: vacuum living and dining room, knit or sew, wash/fold/put away diapers, return phone calls/emails, etc.

Once a week (spread through the week): grocery shopping, laundry, wash towels, change sheets, clean the bathrooms, clean out the fridge, dust, vacuum bedrooms, invite friends over, etc.

Once a month: go to Costco, deep clean the pantry, shop for gifts and cards for the month, file stuff in filing cabinet, etc.

I also have cards for things like Christmas traditions that only go in December, purging clothes every other month, etc.

So there you go, Morgan! :)

Quick summer update

2011-07-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I was going to post some pictures of our latest doings but haven't had a chance and the camera is out in the car... and since it's pouring rain (yes, it IS July, erg) I'm not going to go get it... pictures will have to wait.

We have been flying around and doing so much traveling this summer. It has been a blessing to be able to spend time on the Rez and be in the thick of the ministry, and it's been a good "practice run" for when we live there.

We are praying to be able to move this fall, hopefully September. Right now we have obtained pledges for 80% of our monthly income. Now we are waiting for a) housing and b) funds for housing. That leaves us with raising $1200 per month and praying for direction from the Lord regarding where to live. Ideally we will live near the hub of the ministry so that the girls and I can be more easily involved but I am praying for a soft heart to wherever the Lord leads. If you are reading this, please pray with me for those two major requests. It is exciting that after all this time we are getting so close and we are so eager to join the work there, especially after spending time there this summer!

Pictures to come soon!

Optimists and Realists

2011-06-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of people. Optimists and realists.

Just kidding.

I am a pessimist. I struggle every single day to believe good things are going to happen. I face good things that ARE happening with the the assumption that "it's too good to be true." I hate disappointment, and I hate crushed hopes. I hate feeling foolish when I start to think something is really going to go the way I'm hoping, only to have it fall through two days after the little flower of hope is starting to open up.

It's so easy to excuse this pessimism as being "just the way I am," - as if it it's just part of my personality. Because it's not; or maybe it is but it's a flawed and terrible part of who I am. Every day I am telling God - whether I realize it or not - that I don't think His promise to finish His work in me is true. That I think He's lying when He says that "all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." That He doesn't really know what He's doing and I could do it better.

I recognize that this world is broken, and that our lives are torn apart. But God is in the business of restoration, gently setting and healing our broken limbs. Lovingly sanding down the rough impurities in our personality and buffing us until we "shine like stars in the universe." If the God of the universe was willing to die a brutal death because He loves me, it is ridiculous to doubt that He has anything less than an amazing and perfect story for me, when all is said and done.

So this week, when I'm feeling discouraged and certain that the God is never going to make a way for us to follow through with the love He has planted in our hearts for our First Neighbors, my prayer is that He would draw my eyes upward to the love He demonstrated on the cross and in His empty tomb, so that I can be confident that "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion." Even if things don't go the way I hope they will.

Calvin

2011-06-21T14:37:00.001-07:00

The Lord's faithful provision is a wonderful thing. This afternoon I found out that my sweet friend Heather (and family), lost her dog to a staph infection. Heather and her family have had unbelievable suffering in the past few years, not the least of which was being confined to bed for a long time due to her autoimmune disorder. Her family has always had a special place in my heart and I have looked up to Heather as long as I can remember. Only a few years older than me, she was always one of the older girls in the youth group that I admired for her sweet disposition and steady faith. When she moved home to live with her family when her illness was at its worst, they discovered that their sweet dog Calvin was able to predict when she was about to have an autoimmune flare. Amazing - because if they can catch the flare in time with heavy doses of medication, they can at least somewhat minimize the effects and keep her body from attacking itself.

Calvin adopted our high school youth group on one of our summer mission trips. A small group of us were staying in a little town near Mt. Rainier doing work projects, leading youth group for the week, and doing a VBS at the church where we were staying. This little, bedraggled spaniel puppy appeared and wouldn't leave. He was clearly a stray with his tangled and matted hair-completely filthy. One of my favorite memories is caring for him, feeding him, washing him with a few other friends and working to transform his coat into the beautiful hidden gold. I have a picture of Calvin and me during his first bath that I have long treasured. Heather's brother Michael persuaded the leaders (somehow!) to allow him to take this puppy home, never knowing the amazing and special plan God had for this precious pup in their family. I have always loved Calvin and so wished I could have taken him home, but in God's amazing goodness, he ended up in a home where, years later, his gifts could be used to minister God's grace to others.

Calvin will be missed but he has served as a beautiful reminder that God knows all our needs, all our days before even one of them came to be.

Worth

2011-06-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Since Amelia was born, I have felt inadequate for the task of being a "good" mother to my two-under-two. I know from an outsider's view, I look like a pretty good mom- my kids are fed, changed, clothed, snuggled, loved, clean, and healthy. But I still sin and I still make mistakes, and it has been nagging at me.

I found myself sighing these five words repeatedly over the last week, sometimes multiple times a day: "I'm such a bad mom." Sometimes I was joking when I would make a silly mistake, like drop a noodle on the baby while trying to eat and nurse at the same time. But sometimes it was over more serious matters; it was frustration at having to change a diaper in the middle of the night, snapping at my toddler when she was being naughty, or difficulty "keeping up" with all the tasks I wanted to accomplish through the day. All Jesse's assurances that I am a good mom did nothing to ease my mind. If my worth is determined by how well I perform as a mother then I knew I was failing, even if it didn't look like it. I could not attain perfection, no matter how hard I tried.

On Sunday (yesterday), our pastor, Tommy Allen, included a few thoughts on this painting by Rembrandt in his sermon:

Tommy commented on the fact that this woman, the one taken in adultery and kneeling before Jesus, is trapped and suspended here in her guilt. What she needs to be forgiven and restored to wholeness, is to just look up into the face of Jesus.

I may not have been caught in adultery, but I felt like this woman. I was caught in the endless trap of perfectionism, the drive to add to Jesus' goodness my own goodness. But instead of feeling smug, as some are wont to do, I was feeling helpless and unworthy.

The hard truth is this: I am not a good mom. I am not a good person, not of my own ability. But if anything is good in me, it is from Christ. All my strivings are filthy rags. All my "goodness" is actually sin, when it is done in an effort to save myself.

I told Jesse that if he hears me say those five words again, to just say, "Look up to Jesus." And I, like the woman taken in adultery, will be forgiven, restored to wholeness, and stamped with His goodness. And the amazing thing is that I felt so free; free to love completely and free to succeed or fail; it didn't matter, because I need only to live in the forgiveness and freedom of Christ.

How to get your kid to sit

2011-06-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

Friends and strangers frequently compliment me on how well Lyddie behaves in public. She has an abnormally long attention span for her age, and while I think part of that is personality, I think it's safe for me to take at little bit of credit for this skill, since I have intentionally included activities and plans since an early age for us to work on her ability to sit quietly and entertain herself for stretches of time.

Here are a few excellent resources for how to work on this with your own children:

From the GirlTalk blog: How to teach your toddler to wait by the door when it's time to go bye-bye

From mombyexample.com: Teaching a baby to sit for up to 30 minutes at a time

Enjoy!

May Glimpes

2011-06-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Amelia is five weeks old now and I am loving these pictures I snapped of her yesterday. It makes me happy that I had time to take a few shots, even if her bright-eyed alertness meant I didn't get a nap...

Millie is finally enjoying her bathtime, and actually really loves to be straight in the big tub with big sissy Lyddie. She is a pretty fussy baby, so it's nice to have a time of day that I can count on enjoying with her.

I keep wondering if she just seems fussy to me because I'm so tired and busy with Lyddie on top of baby-care, but I really do think she's on the fussier side. She wants to be held and rocked ALL the time, which I would love if I had hours and hours to sit and snuggle her, but there are times that I need her to be in the swing, or sleep in her bassinet, etc. I am trying so hard to enjoy her and every moment because that's what everyone says I should do and I know these days will go by fast and I will miss them. But in all honestly, I am tired out and eager for a few longer stretches of sleep at night. The last few days she has just been dozing throughout the day and not been willing to take solid naps, so my goal for the rest of the week is to work on routine with her. So far, it's going well today; she was up for an hour or two this morning and then took a 2 hour nap, then was up for an hour and has been down 2.5 hours. I will probably wake her in the next half hour to keep us on a good schedule so she will nap maybe one more time before bedtime. This is much better than yesterday when she just "cat-napped" for 15 minutes at a time yesterday and then cried the rest of the day.

In other huge news, we now have a (slightly tentative) move date of mid-September to get out the the Reservation, which is SO exciting for us. We are simply waiting for the details of our housing to be confirmed and are praying that the Lord would continue opening doors this summer. We are so anxious and excited to get out there and begin the work we have been praying about for so long now. You can read more about it here.

Lastly, I have begun "running." I hesitate to call it running because that sounds so serious. Mostly it's jogging with intervals of walking and sucking air into my lungs. I had seen this thing called "couch to 5K" around the internet for a few months and after making fun of people who love to run in my head for a while, I decided I was a fool and needed to start running and C25K was the right way to start, since it gets people running 5K in 9 weeks. I can see why people get hooked, especially moms, I have to admit I am hooked. It is one time I can consistently count on having alone (or with a friend) just being me throughout the week, and it really does feel good to know I am doing something I should have done a long time ago. I am determined to get in shape through this next year and do something about my overall health and hopefully prevent long-term problems if I can lose weight. My baby weight is all gone but I have a long way to go to be at my goal weight. I know I can do it though.

Introducing Amelia Kay

2011-05-03T16:08:00.000-07:00

Well, you know it's your second baby when it takes you a week to get pictures uploaded from your camera and onto your blog!

Born April 24 - Easter Sunday at 2:38 am - 7 lbs, 3 oz and 19 inches long... we were induced because of my blood pressure and it was a scary ride at times, but all worked out well and we came home with a healthy baby to love! Lyddie is adjusting well after completely ignoring her for two days, but now loves to give "Baby" kisses and even shares her special stuffed animals with Millie.

Still Kickin'

2011-04-21T15:33:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to update anyone who is interested because I know many people have been praying for me! I had my second visit of the week to my midwives this morning and was feeling anxious all of last evening and this morning about how this visit was going to go. I don't know why, other than that I had one pretty high blood pressure reading last night, but it immediately went back down as soon as I was laying down and stayed down after sitting up again - my usual pattern. I don't know exactly what I was worried about with this visit, but am thanking the Lord right now because I felt better when leaving than I have for a while - they took my BP after I had been laying down (rather than immediately on coming into the room) and it looked good - my "normal" is still in the high-normals, but it wasn't in the dangerous zone above 140/90, which it sometimes is.

So they feel that my resting is keeping it under control, especially because I have no other symptoms of high BP - no headaches, no visual disturbances, no pain in my side, etc. My kidneys are clearly working based on the bloodwork and urine analyses they do every visit (or every other visit for the bloodwork, really), and we're having great fetal movements accompanied by "beautiful" fetal heart accelerations. So I am so thankful today. The other happy news is that she is engaged in a head down position (she's been head down but not engaged for the past number of weeks).

I am also thankful that they proactively scheduled a visit for me with the midwife on call over the weekend to go in and have my BP checked and another non-stress test (where they hook you up to the machine and track the baby's heart rate for 20 minutes or so, just to make sure it all looks good). I know it seems like it should maybe annoy me to have to go back in, but I think it is helping my state of mind to know I won't have to wait over the weekend to make sure everything is still looking good. Since it had been four days since I last went in, I found myself all day yesterday obsessively checking for sudden swelling, paranoid about the possibility of "seeing stars" and other nonsense that I have never experienced with either pregnancy and high blood pressure.

But since my BP has been pretty decent all week with all this bed rest, I tried to let all of that go and just rest in the promises that God is caring for me and this precious little one, who is sometimes painfully active! I am amazed at her clear wake-sleep cycles, being really active in the morning, afternoon, and late evening, and her long periods of sleep. It is making it all seem so much more real - a real baby with real patterns and a real personality will be joining us soon!

My little Lyddie girl is being such a trooper! Kids adapt so well and we are trying to keep things as stable as we can. She's been a little clingy today, but I have enjoyed the fact that she has wanted to snuggle and read books together with me since lately she's so BUSY that she is roaming the house and dragging toys everywhere. I think we both miss the special mommy-Lyddie time that I usually try to have with her doing things like play-doh or other fun, and I am struggling with disappointment and I get a little weepy because I was hoping this month would be full of that and instead I have been on my side. But just because it was my hope and plan doesn't mean it was the Lord's, and He knows best; I think this time being "down" has driven me to focus more thought and energy on the baby who's coming and really anticipate meeting her. It would have come into place if I wasn't on rest too, but hey - I'm trying to see the sunny side in this situation! But Lyddie's sweetness, even amidst her sudden rash of toddler behavior (she is definitely showing us her strong little will these days!!) is a big sunny-side and she continues to be a delight and joy to me. I am eager for our "new normal" to start with Baby "Melia" and am praying still that my body would kick-start itself into labor one of these days soon, but trying to be realistic about going up to my due date. It just really is so up in the air, especially with my blood pressure ordeal!

So there you have it... 37 1/2 weeks and still kickin. Amelia is, that is. I'm still... lounging.

37 weeks

2011-04-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was just reading back through the last few weeks of my pregnancy with Lyddie and trying to remain hopeful that things will actually go the same way they did with her. I was so thankful when my water just broke and labor started on the very night we were planning to start trying to induce since my blood pressure was just so difficult to manage. I am praying and praying for something similar. I know inducing pregnancy may be in my future if my blood pressure gets too high for comfort, but I would really prefer to manage it with bed rest - as much as it sucks to be on bed rest.

So I've put myself on pretty strict bedrest - the guidelines my midwife gave were 2-3 hours laying down morning and afternoon and then evening resting as much as I can. I am pretty much staying down throughout all of today, I decided. I plan on resting tomorrow morning and getting up for the baby sprinkle some sweet friends are throwing for me, and then laying down again the rest of the evening. Then as much rest as possible the rest of the week.

So now it feels like a real waiting game, especially when the words "inducing" have come up at the last few appointments, although we're not there yet. I honestly feel like I would be okay going right up to my due date (but please not beyond, Lord) if not for the concern and anxiety about my blood pressure. The Lord is good and His plan is perfect; He answered these same prayers when I had Lyddie and I am hoping he allows this birth to be normal, simple and uncomplicated and at the end of the day we have a healthy baby to enjoy. But I am trying hard to trust that even if things get more complicated and we have to make some decisions about whether to induce, He will give us wisdom and peace.

Fun with Sponges

2011-04-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have been following another mom's blog for a few months now and have used some of her ideas in thinking of things to do with Lyddie. She has two girls, one right around Lyddie's age and has been blogging about their montessori work at home since her oldest was Lyddie's age. Her blog's name is Chasing Cheerios and I love that many of her activities require things I already have around my house. She also has some really fun learning-toy ideas that I would love to spend the money on if I had it!

My preference would be to spend more time outside but living in an apartment and being 9 months pregnant throws a wrench in that many days of the week, and now I'm on modified bed rest thanks to pregnancy induced hypertension. So I try to have at least one "fun" thing to do a day, even if it's a repeat of a past activity.

The other day I pulled out supplies for the following activity that I had been storing up for a day Lyddie needed something fun. She was starting to be a stinker (the witching hour while dinner is being made) and I knew she needed me to "feed her meter" a little with some serious attention and fun.

I cut two sponges in half so they would fit in her hands better and two bowls of water to transfer back and forth with the sponges. Could it be any simpler? Probably not - but she loved it and it kept us both occupied and happy for a half hour while daddy made dinner, bless his heart. And then she went from that to happily coloring next to me until we were ready to eat! It's amazing what some focused mommy-time can do in fending off tantrums (for both of us! haha!)

Sensory Easter Eggs

2011-04-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

The other day I put together a little activity basket for Lyddie with plastic eggs that were filled with different small objects that all make different sounds. We have an egg with rice grains, corn kernels, pennies, etc. Then I hid them in a basket with paper Easter grass, and Lyddie loves it when I get these down for her to play with. She especially loves the grass, but she dances around with the eggs making music now too!

As you can see, she ended up "wearing" the grass as she got more comfortable with how it felt. These things are so fun to do with her because I so enjoy watching her explore and have fun. She also ends up making me laugh with her silly faces and antics when she's trying new things out! haha!

Oh for the Love of Books

2011-04-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

How could this face not warm my heart? It also warms my heart to see how much she LOVES books. In spite of the fact that we have lots of fun toys that are easily accessible, I most often find her sitting in front of her bookshelf pulling out and looking through the pages of all her books.

That's all for now... just a quick break while the potatoes cook for dinner... but she's still in there a-readin' away!

Amelia's "Fiona's Top"

2011-03-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

This picture does NOT do the color of this precious top justice, but this is the project I have been knitting up for Millie! It's a size 3-6 months, which was the smallest size on the pattern, so while I would love for it to fit her over the summer, I think it will probably be more like fall with a little white onesie underneath. I am glad for the extra time to finish it so I don't feel pressure right this second to get it done before she comes!

The yarn colorway is called "Fern" and that's a really accurate description of it! Here it looks bland and grayish but in reality it is a really pretty shade of shimmery green. I have the back knitted up (pictured) and I'm starting to knit down the front, then will seam up the sides to complete the top. I think the rest will be easy, but I have had so little energy that when I sit down I just want to do nothing!

March Glimpses

2011-03-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

I wish I had time to devote to long and lengthy posts about life, and sometimes I do, and I suppose I could MAKE time (at the expense of the rest of the things that need attention). For now, this way forces me to sit and look through and delete pictures that I snap through the week.

I'm loving the sun today... the sliding door is open and it just feels like spring today with projected 57 degrees... But of the week has rain and clouds and back down to the 40s. In contrast, the forecast for White Swan is half and half with temps in the mid-to-upper 50s all week.

Lyddie helping Daddy with Amelia's new crib...

My imp

My new car - praise the Lord, I love it! It's a 2000 Isuzu Rodeo and it's lovely inside and out.

In Like a Lion...

2011-03-04T14:43:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow I will hit 31 weeks of this pregnancy, and I feel like I've been holding my breath for the last few months, watching events occur and swirl away like the foamy bubbles on a quick-moving stream. I love this picture, even though Lyddie's not smiling! We got snow here at the very end of February... and we are still waiting for spring weather to arrive!

Grammie Becky came to visit and we got to take Lyddie to the Seattle Aquarium on Saturday. She loved the fish and was completely intrigued by them (and all the other kids running around)!

So far I haven't really taken any "belly pictures" this pregnancy, but here I am at about 28 weeks. Much bigger than I was with Lyddie, but I was expecting that! Poor sweetie is cutting molars and has been trying to get them through for a month now. I feel around in her mouth hopefully every day but so far just swollen and tight itchy gums! I know they have to come through sometime.

The last few weeks have seen significant answered prayers, including some new movement in our support raising, which is our foremost goal.

I have also been praying for quite a while that the Lord would make it clear whether we should get a new car for me, since having two kids and a double stroller in my little Dodge Neon seemed like a tight fit - doable but tight. I was also concerned about the traveling we do over the mountain passes, knowing that with two carseats on the bench seat of Jesse's truck it would be next to impossible to fit all our gear and stuff in for trips when we needed to take his 4x4 truck.

The other night, I think an angel of the Lord might literally have thown a concrete brick in our path as we drove home, and we dragged this piece of concrete a little ways before being able to pull off to the side of the road. It's never a hopeful sign for your car when a piece of metal is dangling underneath and coolant is puddling within seconds. So much damage was done by this concrete slab (we think it was a segment of median that might have gotten clipped by oncoming traffic, although I still can't even really picture how that happened) that the car is totaled, and praise the Lord, the insurance company is giving us double what I dared to hope for it at this point, meaning we will be able to buy a bigger vehicle for our family. Right now we are hunting for the right option and confident that He will help us find the exact vehicle we need for the time being.

To all who read this and are praying for us, thank you for your prayers. We are blessed beyond imagining by you and by our Lord Jesus, who has given us life and steadfast love, even when our hope and trust in Him wavers!

BabyLegs giveaway!

2011-02-23T23:50:00.000-08:00

My friend and cousin-in-law, Jessica, at And Then There Were Four has an awesome blog with a ton of fun giveaways, and right now is hosting a giveaway worth $50 of BabyLegs products (their Spring Grab Bag set!). I had some newborn leg warmers from BabyLegs when Lyddie was tiny and have one adorable pair of tights for her right now, and they have always been my favorite addition to any of her outfits! Check out the link above to find out more details about how you can enter to win too!!

Tending to Yourself

2011-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Just reminiscing... it's hard to believe we're headed back to this tiny-baby stage with a totally different child!

In my Bible study last night, I was reading about Paul's exhortation to the Ephesian elders (Acts 20) to guard themselves and their flock. And an old lesson hit me again - As a mommy, I have a little flock; currently only with one little sheep but it is growing! It is hard to make sure you're guarding and tending to your own needs very well as a mother of little ones, but just as leaders of the "bigger flocks" (like pastors) need to be feeding themselves on His word and grace and meeting their needs as a "whole person" before they can even be a benefit to those around them, so must we!

So today I resolve to: rest and read for pleasure for at least 30 minutes (and not as I'm drifting off to sleep at bedtime!), fold the laundry from yesterday so I don't go crazy dodging around the mountains of clean clothes, listen to some encouraging music, and meet this morning with other women at church. I have a long to-do list every day that is getting hard to complete as I plod into my third trimester, so I also resolve to reorganize my work and put aside a few of the demands on myself. I have been battling some anxiety about this pregnancy that I never really had with Lyddie, and I think feeling like I'm either never "done" or trying to maintain my normal level of activity and being exhausted isn't helping, which is probably a sure indicator I need to cut back somewhere!

If you're reading this - (if there even is anyone...), what do you resolve for today that will care for your own needs so you can better love and serve those God has given into your care?

A thru I

2011-02-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

A) Noisy neighbors are really hard to love.

B) I'm already crabby and pregnant, so they're definitely not making it any easier on me.

C) I can hardly keep my eyes open but a I reeeealllly want to stay up to watch "Parenthood" tonight from 10-11. Maybe if I eat a few more peanut M&M's the sugar-high I've been looking for all night will arrive.

D) I have been eating way too many peanut M&M's. Until this week, I have gained a total of 3 lbs this entire pregnancy. But I probably gained 10 this week alone, thanks to the choco-craving I've been having.

E) My favorite Netflix tv show right now is "Lie to Me." It's awesome and I wish I could read micro-expressions to tell when people are lying or telling the truth or to tell what they're feeling all the time. I have started practicing on Jesse. He responds to my insights about how he is feeling with the following statement: "You have been watching too much 'Lie to Me.'" Which is probably true.

F) Adelaide says "buck buck" when you ask her if she's enjoying her eggs at breakfast. I was determined that she should know where food comes from but hadn't gotten around to that teaching yet... but I have apparently taught her this without realizing it. She must have seen it in one of our books that we read and remembered... because it's not something I directly taught her. She's silly- and smart!

G) I have been reading "Happiest Toddler on the Block," because, of course, I already have the happiest toddler on the block. Actually I really liked what Dr. Harvey Karp had to say in his video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" (which is also the name of his book that I never read) and found it worked so well that maybe he would have some insights about parenting toddlers. It's excellent and a fun read and is actually mostly just reinforcing a lot of what I already do but giving me new ideas as we move into the strong-willed toddler world. I recommend it for anyone whose kid cries, throws a tantrum at least once a week, or breathes.

H) Those noisy neighbors are driving me nuts. I am so annoyed, but from where Jesse is sitting he says it's not that bad. But where I'm sitting I hear this kind of bass: "Nah nah nananannananah nah nah nananananannanah na na nanananananannah nah nah." Over and over. And if I didn't restrain myself, I would put my speakers facedown on the floor and blast some music directly into their living room so they could see how it feels night-after-night.

I) I better sign off before crabby preggo hijacks this post even further.

Homecoming

2011-01-26T00:02:00.001-08:00

Well, it's midnight on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and according to the internet, Jesse's plane has landed, although I haven't heard from him yet. I am so excited for him to get home that I can't sleep, even though I'm so dreadfully tired...

So to recap this week:
Jesse got sick with some flu bug (not stomach) and left last Tuesday. He never really has felt fully recovered, but I'm guessing some of that is the elevation in Denver messing with him.
Lyddie had a few really crabby days.
I started to feel sick on Thursday morning but maybe was just dehydrated since it never really seemed to evolve into a full blown illness at that time.
Jesse had an important meeting on Wednesday and then three days of "nothing" before Sunday and Monday, when he met with 4 or 5 different churches/pastors/mission boards. Those three days were loooong for us as we questioned God's plan and felt the frustration of being apart without "anything to show" for it in the way of contacts. After speaking at a Sunday School, meeting with a pastor, having two meetings and then one more "surprise" last-minute meeting on Monday night with someone he had been attempting to get back in touch with, we felt the Lord definitely was confirming that the decision to go had been in step with the Spirit, which we were seeking the whole time.

Sunday morning I woke up with the stomach flu. I haven't had the stomach flu in a long time, and let me tell you, I hope I never have it while I'm pregnant again. As if being 25 weeks pregnant doesn't make it hard enough to get comfortable, laying around with a totally queasy stomach and aches and chills really make it fun. Three days later and I'm still feeling sick with a touchy stomach.

The wonderful news is that this will hopefully give me a reason NOT to do the glucose screening at my midwife appointment tomorrow, since the thought of drinking that bottle of nasty grossness is enough to make me vomit on a good week. The bad news is I will still have to do it - sometime.

This evening it appeared that Lyddie was coming down with the same stomach bug, although so far there has only been one "incident" in her diaper that was concerning. And hey, Jesse's home tomorrow, so I can handle ANYTHING! Or at least that's how it seems from the perspective of tonight.

Lyddie is so missing her daddy; she's too little to really say so or maybe even realize it, but I can tell by her behavior; she's extra clingy to me at the slight appearance that I might leave her with someone else, she's testing boundaries and obviously trying to see if I mean it when I say she's going to be disciplined, and she's just fussy and edgy. I know exactly how she feels! Things just aren't "right" when he's away. I know you can argue that all of these things are just "toddler" behaviors, but I am convinced that they are more pronounced because she misses her daddy.

So tonight my best friend in the whole world comes home after a week alone in a strange city and I'm so happy at the thought that I will get a hug from the best husband in the world. I have been thankful for the technology that has allowed us to video-chat over the computer, but it's really not the same as face to face contact!

Home Style

2011-01-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Morgan posted a link to this fun quiz on her blog, and waking from my nap and of course finding nothing better to do than poke around online, I had to do it too. What's your personal style for your home? Pick your favorite pictures and find out!

The descriptions for both Morgan's results (Bucolic Artisan) and mine (see below) seem true insofar as we have actually followed our ideals in creating our homes.
~~~~~~

Results: You most resemble a "Old Money Extravagance".

Details...

Graceful living in a well appointed home. Country chic - a kitchen you live in. Hibiscus and an Ocean Breeze while you sleep. Tempo and technical accumen give a smooth flow to you. Enjoying elegant outdoor fare. Watch the grass grow in the hot summer sun. Pre-war, upper east side attitude. Casual and relaxed… never insisting on formality. .

Suspected "Old Money Extravagance"

- Winston Churchill
- Anthony Hopkins
- Greta Garbo

My psalm

2011-01-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

As a missionary, I think it's pretty common to feel a tension between how to be honest and how to appear positive to those supporting you. It's a tension I have been acutely aware of for a couple years now as we seek supporters, although I don't think I've ever really written about it.
On the one hand, it's important to be joyful and excited about the ministry God is calling you to, but on another hand, it's also important when you're feeling down or anxious or downright lost to be willing to admit it, at least to those close to you, if not to everyone.

Lost describes me today. This month has been a hard one and my energy and hope feels washed away today - even though yesterday I felt generally happy, pleased, and expectant. It is truly amazing how one day I can feel so joyful and encouraged and full of hope, and the next feel total despair, lack of faith, and fear, and then the next be back to hopeful joy. I hate to admit even to myself, but I often feel like a "wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind..." "a double-minded woman..." (James 1). I feel like there are two "me's" and they are both equally me; the coward who wavers in her faith and the strong woman facing the future with laughter and trust. Circumstances don't even always determine which one I am each day; some days I face really difficult things with peace and some days the tiniest glitch throws me into a tizzy. I really dislike this about myself and recognize that it's not good. Even though both "me's" are equally part of me right now, there is definitely a right one and a wrong one.

This is, I suppose, the meaning of sanctification, the act of daily dying to yourself and living in the new creation of Christ.

But I am weary and heavy-laden today, one moment seeking refuge in my Strong Tower, and one moment struggling under my self-made burden. To my shame, I willfully grab my burden back because I am fighting God and His promise of goodness for me and my family. This is one of those days that His promises don't feel so sure to me, although the other "me" cries loudly from the back of my mind that these are the moments to trust Him all the more.

Oh Lord, save me from my rebellious heart and help me to count your promises as true and to rest in them today.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God. -- Psalm 42:11

January Hope

2011-01-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

There's nothing a few fresh tulips in January can't do for my spirit. Spring will come!

Not-as-brief-as-it-should-be Update

2011-01-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

I should be in bed... and it's 9:30. That's a good sign that we are moving into the mature stage of life, right? Seriously, though, waking up at 6 am every morning to spend time in God's word and prayer before Lyddie wakes up is a major blessing, but by the time evening rolls around, I am so wiped out.

Could it be that being almost 24 weeks pregnant with baby #2 might be tiring me out too? Hmm... I wonder... This time around, the pregnancy is zooming by, except for the fact that my back is sending shooting pain with every move as long as I'm awake. It hurt when I was pregnant with Adelaide but I think the extra "up and down" of life with her now and especially when I have Karis multiple days a week, is multiplying the strain. I'm careful about how I lift, sit, stand - mostly because I have to be or I'll be doubled over in pain for a few minutes. Karis is a lot heavier than my tiny little shorty girl, so I need to get a step stool for her to get up and down from the table, washing hands, getting up on the couch, etc, so I won't have to do as much physical work.

Jesse is leaving next Tuesday for a trip to Denver to expand our support raising base. This trip has been one we have long felt the Lord's leading for, even though the fruit seems, from this side, like it will be minimal. It doesn't seem to matter who or where he calls to request meetings, every single church's comment is that their budget is being cut for a second year in a row and they won't be able to support us. Some are still willing to meet with us, but it is hard not to get discouraged time and again. We seriously considered canceling this trip because, humanly speaking, it was hard to imagine why God wants Jesse to go, but after bathing it in prayer for weeks, it seems like the answer is simply "Go." We trust that even if he has unscheduled time, the Lord will help him know how to move forward, maybe in unexpected ways.
Why is it he should go, leaving Lyddie and I here for the week? I have no idea as I sit here with my blanket wrapped around me and refocusing my eyes every few minutes. But over and over again it seems like He is pointing to confirming signs that the trip should be made, and we have simply not felt "right" about canceling. On the positive side, he IS meeting with the missions committee for our own denomination, which will be a gathering of pastors and elders. He has a number of other meetings lined up, but of course, not as many as he was hoping for based on the amount of work he has put into calling and calling and re-calling people.

So, we forge ahead like Abraham in the wilderness; we seek to have an open hand regarding this trip, having even asked directly for confirmation to cancel OR go and feeling willing to follow wherever He leads.

The last few weeks have been strange and clear spiritual warfare. Beyond the immediate discouragement and post-holiday blues, we have had a variety of weird situations, including our bank account receiving fraudulent charges, decisions about whether to move or resign our lease this month and if so, how long to sign for... I'm having a hard time recalling everything right now, but each day has brought at least 2-3 "are you KIDDING me, Lord??"s since the first of the year. The only other times we have felt so much direct opposition have been times of serious progress either in the Lord's guidance, in our support raising, or other ways He is growing and stretching us. When we are hard-pressed, we must bear in mind that we are being pressed into Him. And all we have now is hope; hope for our eternal future with our precious Savior, hope for His kingdom to be throughout all the earth, and hope to be used by Him on the Yakama Reservation. We have great hope in Him who promised never to leave, nor forsake us, and who promised that "all things work together for good" for those called by Him. He withholds nothing good from His children; the same delight I feel in watching Lyddie and providing joys for her is just a shadow of the delight He feels at each good thing He brings into our lives, even if those good things are challenging for me in the moment. So here we are looking forward with hope for this new year.

First Ponytail

2011-01-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

Adelaide Renee, 14 months

Routine Success!

2010-12-31T14:28:00.001-08:00

Just as a quick update, I was so pleased; I put books in Lyddie's bed last night after she fell asleep, and when I got up a little after six, she was still asleep. I spent time with the Lord and checked on her - still asleep - so I went in the kitchen and started baking some bread for breakfast. Partway through I peeked my head in and she was sitting up quietly looking at her books! She saw me and excitedly said "Book! book!" And went back to reading. I left her in there for twenty more minutes just to practice and she did great, and I appreciated those last few minutes of quiet to fold a load of laundry.

Success! Wonder!

Intentional and Proactive

2010-12-30T21:59:00.000-08:00

As I've ventured further into motherhood, I have been so thankful for the blog written by the ladies over at GirlTalk . Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters have provided so much insight that I trust, especially since it lines so much up with the recommendations and experience of my mom and other older women that I trust. I have lately been revisiting their older series called "RoutineTalk," where the benefits of routines and scheduling are discussed related to each different family and family member. For example, there's a few posts on helping your baby learn a routine for eating and sleeping, sample routines for toddlers, a post on why children thrive on a routine, the benefits for your marriage/husband (like kids going to bed early and having time as a couple to actually communicate and look at each other!!), and the benefits for your own walk with the Lord.

One of my favorite quotes from a post is this: "Scheduling has helped me to be intentional and proactive, rather than reactive in training my children." This is so great, and exactly what I want from having a schedule!

Since my morning sickness ended mid-October, I have struggled to return to the routine I was seeking, especially since the holidays always through a little wrench in the organization of each day. But the biggest struggle I have faced was getting back to rising a little early and having some quiet time in prayer and the Word before commencing my day. I then struggled with guilt and shoved it in some other time during the day, but never felt as refreshed as I had when opening my day with this peaceful time of meditation. It didn't help that Adelaide started waking earlier and has had a few weeks of night-time crying periodically through the night for reasons unknown (teething? nightmares? diaper rash? hunger?) This change in routine is a normal motherhood thing by now and I am used to switching gears based on her needs, but without that quiet time alone in the morning to start my day right, I have felt like I am one step behind all the day - especially in my attitude.

So this week I have been setting my alarm and rising early again, although I have been feeling rushed to get through my devotional before I heard a peep from Lyddie. Until I read this quote from the GirlTalkers tonight:

...If possible, begin when your child is still in a crib (old enough to sit up on their own). Don’t get them out of bed when they first wake up, but place some books or toys in the crib the night before, after they are asleep. Determine what time you will get them up and stick to it. They might cry at first, but soon they will enjoy this morning playtime. If this habit is established early, it will be easy to maintain, even after they transition to the “big boy” or “big girl” bed... Teaching your child to stay in bed serves you (the mom) so you can get a devotional time (and maybe even a shower!). It ensures your husband gets enough rest, and your attention in the morning. And it serves the children. By teaching them to rise at a certain time and to enjoy playing by themselves, you can help them form disciplined habits to last a lifetime

Why didn't I think of this myself?? I don't know, but it's clear as a bell to me now. I don't make a habit of rushing to Lyddie's every desire the second she makes a peep the rest of the day, so she's already getting used to having to wait for me. This will be more and more important when Amelia arrives, so I have been intentionally embedding this kind of practice through our days. I already know she is able to play quietly in her crib alone since we now have morning "quiet times" in place of a nap, so I think I will try this and see if it works for me. That way I know I will get the time I need without having to wake up at 5:00 am (a tad too early for me) to beat her awake. I can do 6:00, and since she typically sleeps until 6:30-7:30 on a normal day, I think I will pick a time around then to try getting her up, even if she's already awake in there a little while.

So what does our routine look like lately? For the curious...

7:30-8:00 wake up, morning bottle and snuggly time

8:00-8:30 breakfast

8:30-9:00 TV show time

9:00-10:30 get dressed, read together, quiet time in crib; I get the kitchen cleaned up and a shower

10:30-12:00 play time - some of it together at the table and some Lyddie plays alone while I work around the house

12:00-1:00 lunch and cleanup

1:00-3:00 nap

3:00-5:00 play time and sometimes one TV show (our favorites are Cat in the Hat! and Curious George, we don't typically watch both but occasionally in the morning we do); I get dinner going

5:00-6:30 play time with daddy, eat dinner

6:30-8:00ish - bathtime, bedtime routine, bed! Mommy and daddy relax and have grown-up time!

I like this routine and know my schedule will change drastically when Amelia arrives in May, but I hope to keep the same general routine with Lyddie so that her day is relatively predictable even though so much about life will have changed for her. I pray for wisdom about these things frequently and am thankful for the insight given to me by older women and His word!

Christmas Eve's Eve

2010-12-23T18:37:00.000-08:00

This is my first Christmas as a real stay-at-home mom, since last year I was still really in the post-baby fog with a 5 week old. I am having so much fun and it's really wonderful to have time to do so many of the things I have wanted to in the past but had to cram into weekends. My house gets a little disaster-zoney sometimes but I'm okay with it because I eventually catch up and I'm enjoying the crafts and baking and all. Who knows when the next year will be that I feel this productive? Next year I'll have two itty bitties and life will be different and may be way crazier, but honestly I still think I will be able to enjoy it just as much.
And seriously, my daughter is as cute as they come and I can hardly believe what a blessing she is. I am excited to do it all over again and watch Adelaide and Amelia grow up together. Sisters - I am so thankful that Lyddie will have a sister and to be a mother to two small girls and then eventually two teen girls and then further still women!
Here's my girl at the cookie exchange with some dear friends and family earlier this week. The dress she is in was mine when I was her age; my mom said it was one of her first sewing projects and I'm impressed. My first sewing projects are much less involved, but I'm so glad it fits her this year. She actually looks a lot like pictures of me in this same dress. Of course she's in the ragamuffin stage with food all over her pinafore, but hey, that's life these days.

Little Lamb

2010-12-22T09:47:00.000-08:00

Lamb by Susan B. Anderson
You can click on the first link to get to a free pattern. The second is Susan's blog. This pattern was initially published in Itty Bitty Knits which is where I found it. I am SO happy with how it turned out, it is just precious. I was disappointed that the boucle yarn in the original is now very difficult to find since they aren't making it anymore, but I'm very happy with the way this soft fuzzy yarn turned out. I am completely blanking on what the yarn is and I usually keep the label in my knitting bag while I'm working on a project but can't find it anywhere. The pink for the head and legs is Bernat Cotton. I wasn't completely sold on the pink at first, since I originally pictured more of a beige, but the pink is a perfect rosy complement to the off-white, and of course matches everything Lyddie owns.
The pattern also calls for the legs to be stiff from straws inserted - that way it can stand on its own but I liked the cuddliness of floppy legs.
Done with plenty of time before Christmas!!!

Honoring God in our Traditions - and other fun news!

2010-12-19T00:34:00.000-08:00

Insomnia = time to blog in the quiet of the night.

First and importantly, we had our 20 week ultrasound for baby #2 - who happens to be another girl! We are so excited as we head into the last half of this pregnancy, and I know if I blink, it will be May. The name we have settled on is officially Amelia Kay - nicknamed "Millie," although I love Amelia so much that I may end up using it most often. I most often type "Lyddie" but call her Adelaide about half of the time. So, yes - Lyddie and Millie, 18 months apart. I think it's exactly right for us. This news also means an easier preparation, since we have so much girl stuff saved. I was just about to purge out the clothes when we found out we were pregnant, so I held off in case of just such a situation. Lovely girls, ribbons and bows are wonderfully exciting for a momma and I'm pleased to have a chance to reuse some of my favorite outfits. They will be exactly opposite seasons from each other, but here in the Northwest our weather is so spotty that even in summer I had a lot of cool-weather clothes and somehow ended up with some cute summery stuff that Lyddie could never wear because it was too cold when it fit her. I need to work on finding a dresser for big sister after Christmas, so that we can use the little one for the new baby.

Adelaide seems to be getting ready to potty-train, which amazes me. She has had a diaper rash so we let her go diaper free most of today and twice before she went "weewee" she went over to the bathroom - one time doing it on the floor right by the toilet! So on top of a dresser, I need to get a potty chair when the chaos from the holidays has settled down and start practicing in earnest. This stage of life has moved upon me much faster than I expected, but then, we have been talking about the potty and putting "poo poo" down the toilet, saying "bye bye!" for a while now. So I guess we'll see how it goes, I'm not feeling at all pressured but don't want to miss out if she's interested in starting!

I fear I am coming down with something with only one week left before Christmas. I still have various projects to finish up, along with all my baking and wrapping, so I really should be in bed, but after tossing and turning for a half hour, I gave up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been mulling over Christmas traditions this year even though Lyddie is so small still. Traditions have always been an essential part of the holidays for my family and I am beginning to shape our little traditions into whatever works best for us. I know that many people don't have or value traditions or aren't proactive in putting them in place for themselves, which is alright, I guess, but seems like a bit of a shame, especially as a Christian parent. Throughout the entire Scriptures, the Lord is instilling holidays and observances with very specific rituals for His people. Many have the misconception that this had something to do with the actual salvation of the Old Testament Jews (e.g., sacrifices, Passover, etc) but this can't be, since Christ is and always has been the only way to the Father. Those things were all initiated by God to be a forward-looking reminder of His goodness and grace and justice and providence for their children and the grandchildren. They weren't meant to be a legalistic, empty-hearted action but rather an illustration for teaching the future generations what God has done and a reminder of His promise of what He will do.

Traditions for us as Christians should be no different. While it's fun and exciting to participate in many of the light-hearted traditions together as a family, I think the intent behind all of these activities should be pointing to what God has done and what He promises He will do. I'm not meaning to imply that everything has to be hyper-spiritualized or that if you can't find a spiritual application, you shouldn't do it - we are so much more free as His children than that! There is value in enjoying silly time together as a family - like decorating gingerbread houses like we did with my parents and brothers last night, or enjoying decorating your home to mark the "separateness" of this season from all the others! But as I begin to look forward to raising our children, I want to be specifically conscious of this -not just at the holidays, but also throughout the year. Why do we go to church every Sunday? Why do we celebrate Easter? Why do we do family devotions? Why do we fellowship over dinner as a family together every night? Why do we have family movie nights? Why? Why? Why? The big answer is: to honor God by our traditions. Sometimes all it takes is an action that "separates" the special from the mundane, like decorating your home or even dressing up for church, whatever it is. It teaches our children to mark this as something important and special, worthy of note.

Noel Piper has a book out called "Treasuring God in our Traditions," and I haven't read it, but would really like to. I have a feeling it's very much this same idea, so I need to invest in it when I have a little extra money.

O Tannenbaum!

2010-12-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

Last week we picked out and decorated our Christmas tree. What an adventure with a baby-turned-toddler. There is no doubt in my mind that she's my daughter, given the wonderful stubborn streak appearing from her sweet little disposition! She's actually been an angel with the tree now that the decorations are on, but oh boy! Putting them on the tree was NOT in her plan!

Lyddie toddling around the tree lot. We were going to be adventurous and cut our own tree from the forest but given the amount of snow being dumped in the mountains, we decided to just do the easy route this year.

Every year we carry my family's tradition of fancy snacks for dinner on the night we decorate our tree. You can see that Lyddie likes to help me in the kitchen, especially when chocolate is involved (another proof that she's my very own daughter!). We made chex mix, tingaling cookies, summer sausage, cheese, crackers, oranges, and grapes. Yummy!

Not without drama.... wish her whole face was included but you get the idea. We say "no no" a lot these days.

Vaccines

2010-12-12T16:06:00.000-08:00

This was taken from my thoughts in a comment on my friend Morgan's blog. It's actually a topic I have meant to write on for a while...Feel free to join the conversation there or post your own thoughts here about what you do!

I always planned on vaccinating Lyddie but was pretty overwhelmed at the idea of trying to figure out which ones to do and the order/timeline to do them in. We are blessed with a GREAT ARNP who looked at my proposed schedule and recommended a few modifications in terms of the time frame and other things specific to WA state (see below).

In terms of the theory of vaccines, I knew myself well enough to know that if we went vaccine-free across the board then I would inevitably worry more than I would about the minimal risk of side effects. However, I also felt that a few changes have been made in terms of the vaccine schedule in recent years – namely they have added more vaccines and give a bunch all at once. The research I did indicated that the only reason the CDC packed so many together for each well child visit during the first year was for convenience for parents and to ensure that kids would GET the vaccine, sidestepping parents who wouldn’t follow through. I knew I would be the kind of mom that would bring my kid in every month just for a vaccine without forgetting or putting it off, so that was what I proposed. It still seems logical to me that if I’m worried about neurological effects or the possible correlation between autoimmune disorders and vaccines that I might not want to bombard my baby’s developing system with the whole list of vaccines on the CDC schedule at one time. I still shake my head when I look at the CDC recommendations. I can't ever judge anyone for following it because it is easier, faster, and if a parent isn't prone to worry about it, then that's fine! But for me, I knew I wanted to do it a little differently.

After researching WHY they recommend Hep B for infants in the hospital, we opted not to do it for the same reasons as above. Hep B used to be given much later (in fact I think I didn't get it until I was probably 12) but they apparently felt like they were missing cases so they just started doing it as a catch all in the hospital. Hep B is essentially a sexually transmitted or blood-transmitted disease and I knew my husband and I did not have Hep B. We added it into our modified vaccine schedule, as you can see below. We are not doing the HPV vaccine for the same basic reason. If she decides she wants it when she’s older, that's fine.
We won’t do the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine until she’s much older since it’s not a life threatening disease and if she gets it in childhood, that seems best to me. If she hasn’t contracted it by the time she’s in late childhood, we’ll do the vaccine since chicken pox is so much worse in teens and adults. It’s probable we will need to, since the vaccine is decreasing her chances of getting it naturally. That’s fine with me, I’m flexible.
Initially I was going to do just one vaccine every month but changed it a little based on my doc’s recommendations. It’s still slower than the CDC recommendations which were way too much for my comfort level.

Other things that I discovered on the way: some states, like our home state of WA, bundles a bunch of vaccines into one dose, so we couldn’t split some up like I wanted. It is impossible without traveling to another state (not an option for me) to get the Dtap vaccine separately; here it’s bundled into one called “pentacel” – Diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis (whooping cough), IPV (polio), and Hib (haemophilus influenzae B). So those months I definitely only did that one vaccine since I felt like it was already like giving her 5 vaccines. Basically the CDC recommends adding three more vaccines that first 2 month visit. Which is fine if others are comfortable doing that, but I felt like exposing her system to 8 different diseases was too much for me.

Here’s what we chose to do and it’s working out great for us. It’s easy to just call the morning of the day we want to stop in for a vaccine and we just walk in and are in and out quickly.

2 months: Pentacel (Dtap, IPV, Hib)
3 months: PCV (pneumococcal) and RV (rotavirus)
4 months: Pentacel (dose 2)
5 months: PCV and RV (dose 2)
6 months: Pentacel (dose 3)
7 months: PCV and RV (dose 3)
8 months: Hep B (dose 1)
10 months: Hep B (dose 2)
12 months: MMR (we also did a flu vaccine at this visit)
13 months: Hep B (dose 3) and second flu dose
14 months: PCV (dose 4)
15 months: Hep A (dose 1)
19 months: Pentacel (I think – I will need to double check this, but based on the CDC recommendations, there is a final vaccine left for the Dtap and IPV but I’m not sure how they usually do that one…)
21 months: Hep A (dose 2)
4-6 years: boosters of Dtap and IPV, and MMR

I actually stopped planning once I got the initial set of recommended vaccines figured out because I decided I would deal with them later once I had gotten through the first two years…
One other thought: we didn't worry too much about making sure the school district requirements were met since we’re planning to homeschool, but that would be one other factor to check into for each state’s dept. of health. I think we ended up meeting the time frame anyway without trying.

I encourage everyone to feel COMFORTABLE requesting to slow down the vaccine schedule if you’re concerned about it. There is no reason why doctors can’t let you do that – the pediatrician isn’t even the one to administer the vaccine so it doesn’t even affect them in any logical way, and if your child isn’t frequently being exposed to these dangerous illnesses, then the risks are so low to putting them off a little. I may have approached this differently if Lyddie was going to be in daycare, but we didn't even really put her in the church nursery on Sundays until she was around 8 months.

I’m so pleased with the way things are working out and am planning on repeating this same schedule with our #2 who will arrive next May. It was worth all the research because I do feel a lot more peaceful about it and that first year is stressful enough – anything to keep sanity helps!

December crafts and meals

2010-12-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm busy as a bee working on some Christmas projects, only one of which I feel safe to share here right now! More info on the others will come sometime after Christmas, but it's been a busy busy holiday season for gifts here! I just started making this precious little lamb for Lyddie:

Isn't she sweet? Mine won't have the same bunchy "boucle" yarn but will be smooth and fuzzy with the alpaca yarn I am using. It's SO soft and a dream to work with. I just about have the body done and need to go get stuffing, and then it's just the head and other parts and putting it together. I have never made a stuffed animal, so here's hoping it goes smoothly and I can get it done in time for Christmas!!

One of my favorite things to do is cook and bake and create delicious meals out of unexpected and uncommon foods. I remember growing up reading "Little House" books and other prairie stories, farm stories, and other historical fiction where resourcefulness and "natural" eating dominated the female's tasks. I have nothing against technological advances in general but really do feel that a lot of our eating and agricultural habits are harmful to ourselves and future generations. For the last few years I have felt a strong pull toward whole foods/whole grains and local fresh produce. I started a "food blog" to use for these kinds of thoughts and to keep my recipes organized but as I thought it over last night I think that actually deterred me from writing about this love in my life since it made it more of an "ordeal." And it left a huge part of myself out of this blog, and if I take out big chunks and section them off, then what's left? Haha. So I'm back and food will reign again here.

This winter we are doing another CSA (community supported agriculture) at a local farm and I so love doing it. It is only for 6 more weeks and I am already trying to plan where we will get good local produce after that. Most years we drive about 30-40 minutes to a farmer's market up in Seattle each Saturday morning, which we may go back to doing on occasion. Definitely not as convenient as a farm 10 minutes away, but doable, and it is a fun memory that we have created for the last few years.

So this week I ended up with a celery root, a couple acorn squashes and a kabocha squash, potatoes, carrots (oh you have NEVER had carrots unless you have had post-frost fresh carrots!), turnips, tatsoi, and fresh thyme. I used the thyme for a whole roasted chicken, along with stuffing and a yummy celery root/apple/potato mash... I am still working on acquiring the taste for celery root since I'm not a celery fan in general, but Jesse and Lyddie both loved the whole meal.

Last night I made homemade black bean soup from dried beans, used up some of the carrots, and other ingredients I had on hand. And Jesse made corn tortilla chips from some broken tortillas... and we had an amazing delicata squash from last week. Mmmmm....

Tonight I am making low-calorie chicken enchiladas with leftover chicken and pumpkin sauce... Apparently we're on a Mexican-ish kick since tomorrow is supposed to be chili. I'm getting set to meal plan and have been mentally devising a meal plan list over the last few days - I think we'll have a stir fry to use up a few leftover greens.. using up food is always on my mind these days!

Oh Snow, Oh Joy!

2010-11-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

This week has brought us some interesting and unexpected weather with snow, ice, cold, and wind! Last year was so mild that we didn't get any snow but Lyddie was only a couple months old so she wouldn't have been able to enjoy it anyways. I loved these pictures that capture the wonder and joy of watching snow fall for the first time (and how funny mittens apparently are!)

It feels like winter is making an early appearance and it's hard to believe this is just Thanksgiving week. I have given myself permission to consider Thanksgiving as part of the holidays, since Advent begins almost immediately afterward!
We head out today for the rest of the week over in Spokane, where the high today is supposed to be 8. No, I didn't forget a digit. Just single-digit-8. Since Jesse's parents live on a mountain (at least, that's what it's called in Spokane, although it's hard for me to consider it a real mountain after growing up in the shadow of Mt. Rainier), the temps will be even colder. Thank goodness for 4WD, wood stoves, and sweaters! We are praying for safe travels as we leave later this morning.

And can you believe that our new baby is 16 weeks along already? This pregnancy is flying by so much faster than my first. In just 5-6 months we will add a new little bundle to our family, and just 3 weeks until we find out the sex (hopefully)! That will be one of the best Christmas gifts we can imagine!

Christmas cards? Gifts? Shutterfly!

2010-11-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

Shutterfly is one of my all-time favorite places to go in order to prepare for Christmas and gifts! I have used it for years now, making books of our first year of marriage, Adelaide's birth, and now some exciting (and surprise) goodies to give away!

Shutterfly makes it so easy to insert photos into a cute photo book, calendar, or card format, arrange them and add your text! I always have so much fun fiddling with pictures, adjusting, picking backgrounds that coordinate with my pictures, and then mulling over the results until I am completely satisfied. Whether you are a complete perfectionist (like me!) or the kind of momma who wants to get their personalized gifts done with minimal fuss and on a timeline, you can't lose with Shutterfly.

Not to mention the spectacular specials they constantly offer, especially during the holiday season. This week they are offering deals on holiday cards, calendars, photo books, prints, and more! I'm not kidding when I say I have pored over their special offers this week trying to make up my mind what to create- and I'm always excited when I can afford even more than I thought I could because of their sales!

I know I should have been getting busy on my Christmas cards earlier than Thanksgiving, but I'm so glad I ~~procrastinated~~ waited, since I just took beautiful pictures of Lyddie's first snow yesterday! The "hardest" (and most fun) part about the process is choosing between all the adorable styles available. Here are a few of my favorite styles.

I tend to like the sweet, slightly formal look for this year at least, but there are a ton of styles (almost 400 in the flat stationery style alone!) to choose from with a wide range of shapes, color schemes, and picture formats.

If you're not planning on cards + postage this year, they have some really memorable and lasting gift ideas too. Their photo mugs and desk calendars make excellent gifts for a father, grandparents, or other special friends and family.

Go visit Shutterfly and enjoy the feeling of being beautifully creative with minimal effort!! Whether you're shopping for yourself or looking for a gift for someone else, you'll find what you're looking for!

Bloggers can get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

Birthday time!

2010-11-19T10:57:00.000-08:00

Well, my baby has turned toddler! This week was Adelaide's birthday and we had a party last Saturday. It was so much work, even for a simple get together, but since we had over 30 planning to come, even a low-key party was not-so-low-key! I spent most of the week before in a flurry of preparation and so enjoyed her special day. We had so many precious friends and family come to celebrate with us!

She loved this baby dolly, a precious Madame Alexander doll, from her grandma - Mimi. She put on such a show of kissing, hugging, patting, and loving on her. I'm sure she was only encouraged by all the laughter and gasps of adoring fans. What can I say, though? She is spectacularly cute.

Everyone singing to ME?

The first poke into her smash cake, made by my good friend Melissa. It's too bad I don't have a better camera, the colors of the cake were so cute but my camera just doesn't do them justice!

Lyddie (1 year!) and her best friend, Karis (17 months)

This week has been full of milestones for us. Not only did we have the birthday, she began walking pretty much full-time now. It's amazing how fast that transformation began; she has been taking occasional steps for a couple of weeks but in the last 7 days she went from mostly-crawling to mostly-walking. She is also using one or two new words everyday. I love hearing her little voice. She says "book, dada, mama, bay (baby), duh (done), baba (bottle), bath, buhbuh (bubble) and pahpahpah (pop pop pop);" loves to do "patacake" and throws her hands up in the air and says "ohhhh" for "throw it in the oven!" Not to mention all the imitation she is doing!
She is growing up so quickly, my precious girl! Happy first birthday, Adelaide Renee!

Punkins

2010-11-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

We had some beautiful weather one weekend in October so we took Lyddie to the pumpkin patch with some dear friends of ours and their daughter, who happens to be Lyddie's best friend. Karis and Lyddie loved the whole experience in spite of the overwhelming crowds and Lyddie giggled, squealed, cruised along the pumpkins, and played with the dirt and leaves on the ground.
These pictures were taken by my friend Melissa, who always takes such beautiful shots. I took a ton of really cute pictures too, but they happen to be uploaded on the other computer, and I had these ones saved on this computer, and rather than waiting and never getting around to posting them, I figured this was the better option.

Now that she's getting older, taking her out to do "kid things" is getting to be so much fun and we need to do more. I can't wait to take her to places like the zoo, the aquarium, look at Christmas lights, etc.

The ooh's and ahh's from the crowd waiting their turn behind us were so hilarious - it's like they had never seen baby girls before. My little mischievous pumpkin looking smug...

Diving In - Election Thoughts

2010-10-21T08:45:00.001-07:00

Bearing in mind my post of yesterday, in which I preface my upcoming thoughts with a reminder of the freedom in Christ we are given to disagree on non-essential issues in our lives, I'm jumping in with thoughts on immediate politics. There are a few big-ticket items in my opinion on this upcoming ballot in the Seattle area, and I'm actually paying some attention this year, since I actually care about the outcome.

1) I-1098 - basically an income tax on the wealthy only, but rumor has it this could be expanded after two years without a vote of the people. Rumor also has it that this rumor is false. Regardless, I think it's a ridiculous idea. We already have a terribly high sales tax (almost 10%!) and rather than actually figuring out how to keep within a budget - like the REST of us have to do these days - the government just keeps looking to expand its income. I know cuts are uncomfortable for a lot of people, especially the poor, but the spending is out of control if we need a sales tax and an income tax. Now, if they were proposing to eliminate the sales tax in favor of just an income tax, I would probably be all for it, especially since it seems a little more equitable proportionately. But since there's even a slight chance (and more than a slight chance, if you ask me) this would eventually extend to more and more residents of the area, I'm uncomfortable with the idea. And in spite of being in the lower-middle class income bracket, I'm not entirely sure I like the idea of penalizing the wealthy with rules that don't apply to the rest of us. I don't know - maybe I'm okay with it from that angle, but I'm not sure.

2) I-1100 and I-1105: This is the bill that proposes privatizing liquor sales. Now seriously. Can this seem like a good idea to ANYONE other than drunks and those standing to make a direct profit from the sales? It's possible, but there are a few really strong and obvious objections to it in my book. I guess they claim that it will stimulate the economy somehow, but honestly. Hard liquor is already readily available for those of legal age. Do we really need to put it in gas station mini-marts and our grocery stores? Doesn't it seem obvious that we'd see an increase of crime at these stores in the early hours of the morning? Doesn't it also seem obvious that this would increase ease of access for minors? And in a time when the government is seeking additional funds (see above), couldn't this be one we leave alone in order to maintain a consistent source of income? This one makes me seriously uncomfortable, mostly because I don't want to have increased hard alcohol in the community.

I actually don't really care who wins the big-deal Senate race, probably because I don't like either option. I never really have much vested interest in candidates of either major party (even in a presidential race), probably because to win, I know they have to compromise just about everything they actually believe in. That's simply how power seems to work, and I just can't put much hope and stock in politicians. Now, maybe an independent candidate that made it further in a race would have a greater chance of my vote, but this whole Democrat-Republican division is ridiculous to me. I'm really happily neither of those.

So I'm counting down the hours until this election is over because I'm so very tired of the political television ads that have been running for what seems like at least six months now. One of the reasons I end up losing all respect for actual candidates are the negative campaign ads. In my book, negative ads are slander and maligning another person, and how can I vote for someone who participates so actively in slandering their opponent? I don't care that that's "just how the game is played" - someone who didn't play that game would gain my respect.

Thoughts? Care to disagree?

Freedom in Christ, Part I

2010-10-20T10:28:00.001-07:00

Freedom in Christ. This little idea has been flitting through my mind on a regular basis for a while now, and has significantly shaped my view of life and faith.
I have developed over time into "that girl" who avoids talking about politics with almost everyone and refrains from offering many opinions on controversial subjects, even feeling guilty and anxious when offering unasked-for advice or opinions. I have always been a "people-pleaser" to an extent but was not always this cautious about putting my ideas out into the world.
Could it be that I have been burned by others who give me advice or a long list of do's and don'ts without delicacy? Have I been burned by times that I have done so with good intentions and been hurt by the response? Maybe a little bit, but I think the real reason I hesitate these days is actually based in the knowledge that as Christians we are free to follow where the Spirit is leading us through His word and through the advice of godly men and women around us.
I have some very strong opinions about a variety of topics, including religion and faith, politics, parenting, social justice and how the church should interact with the poor, marriage and sexuality, and assorted other categories. My lack of desire to share many of these opinions stems in part from my belief that while there are definitely areas of black and white (for example, saving faith in Christ as the only way to salvation, the sin of abortion and the clear statements in Scripture about the inability to be a long-term homosexual Christian), there are many areas that fall between the lines, and there are many things that are black and white that receive an overabundance of attention from the Christian community while other equally evil sins go unnoticed and undiscussed.

I also know the proclivity of my own heart toward sin, idolatry, and legalism. I know how easy it is to allow my opinion on those very issues to dictate how I respond to others, when the ruler of my life should not be my opinion on this or that, but the King of Kings, who longs to gather His children to Himself through my representation of His love, justice, and mercy. He is the judge, but what a merciful judge He is, to have stepped down to earth and taken the death penalty in my place.
When I think of all that I have and all that I shouldn't have, the crucial issues of life are made clear. How is what I say and do bringing fame and glory to a Christ who said "the first shall be last and the last shall be first"? How are my actions imitating the Lord who "did not count equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the nature of a servant"?
Is trying to convince other moms that one way is right in diapering, feeding, sleeping the best way to do that? Or is it better to come alongside, show by example, answer questions graciously when asked, and living "in peace as far as I am able"?

I do, however, find great value in discussing, seeking to understand and be understood, and learning about the very loved ones God has placed in my life. Mutual respect and understanding are foundational for me to have any conversation or dialogue about differing opinions - and I think this is one major reason I avoid these topics on facebook (and avoid twitter altogether). After thinking about it for some time, I decided that a blog is a much more comfortable arena for me to "think aloud," because it allows for more space, is easier to track back to older posts, and is typically not a space where friends of friends of friends are likely to chime in without discretion (i.e., leave a one-line derogatory comment). Therefore, I plan on giving voice to a few of my more thought out ideas in the next few posts if I get a chance, but this post was the most important one for me, to lay the groundwork for my thoughts on how, given such freedom in Christ as to follow where the Spirit leads each of us, I can strive to find value in the opinions of others, regardless of what Jesse and I find best for our own family. Some topics that are pushing around in my head: the recent campaign and upcoming elections, hospital births, homemaking vs working outside the home as a mom of young kids, money, vaccinations, and food. I may or may not get to all of these, but every time I sit down to write, I want to move into a deeper topic than just what is going on in my mundane life. I'm seeking an outlet for the things I am thinking and learning about, and have felt so hesitant to put myself out there in that way, because I don't want others who disagree with my thoughts to feel judged, angry, or hurt - and I don't particularly enjoy feeling that way either. So, keeping the freedom I have found in Christ at the forefront, I charge ahead, hoping that others will offer me the same grace and love I hope to offer as well.

Simple Woman's Daybook, October 11

2010-10-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

For Monday, October 11, 2010

Outside my window... stormy skies, trees turning color from green to gold. No birds in the cedar tree this morning which is strange!

I am thinking... about the grocery list I need to make, my mom's clam chowder for dinner tonight, when I will stop feeling nauseous and exhausted!

I am thankful for...my two babies, the one napping and the other I get to see on our ultrasound today! Here's hoping I'm further along than they initially expected, although I can't be disappointed if I'm not.

From the learning rooms...shape sorters and ring stackers. Adelaide has figured out how to put the two biggest rings on the stacker this week! It is so adorable how she looks up each time to see if we are going to clap and cheer for her.

From the kitchen...Amish friendship bread, pumpkin seeds drying for pepitas later today.

I am wearing...my nightie and a snuggly blanket

I am creating...a few Christmas surprise goodies! I can't post details or they may not be a surprise, although it is doubtful that the recipient would read this. I am also knitting a jumper for Lyddie in soft purples and greens.

I am going...grocery shopping, to get Lyddie's vaccination, to swing by the thrift store to drop off some old clothes, and to our ultrasound! Are we 11 weeks? 12 weeks? Who knows?

I am reading...Harry Potter #4

I am hoping...to start feeling better soon, that the Lord would bring an increase in our support this week, that He will guide and direct our decision making in the next few months.

I am hearing... just the clock ticking on the wall and occasional sighs and stretches from Jesse working in the other room- oh the blessed quiet of naptime

Around the house...cozy fall decorations, a clean red tablecloth on the table, toys put away but needing a new organization system!

One of my favorite things...a new week with new goals and hope!

A few plans for the rest of the week: dinner at my parents' tonight - yum! and no cooking for me! Hosting a Cookie Lee show for a friend on Saturday, and Sunday is a fun trip to the pumpkin patch with Adelaide and friends from church!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...this is Lyddie at 10 1/2 months with my glow-baby. She loves this little creature even more than her own glow-worm, which is so funny! I couldn't catch her on camera but she kept bending down to give it loves and kisses. I love this picture, since her smile here captures the beauty of her lovely personality.
For more Simple Woman Daybooks, visit here: http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com

Lyddie's Secret

2010-09-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, in my last post, I lied, life has NOT been going on as usual, since we received exciting news in the middle of August! For the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been feeling sick, fatigued, and oh yeah, tired. I forgot just how tiring this first trimester business is again!

Baby #2 is due May 3, 2011, which makes me 9 weeks along right now. Lyddie and Baby will be 18 months apart (I know that's the first calculation everyone is trying to do in their heads when they find out I'm pregnant - discreetly so they don't guess what they're thinking - HOW close will they be?!). Which hopefully means only 7 weeks or less of sickness. With Lyddie it lasted until week 16 and then got better quickly. While I know every pregnancy is different, thus far, this pregnancy has been much the same. My usual joy in keeping our house, cooking, planning meals and kitchen treats, have all been replaced by a desire to nap, sleep, rest, avoid all food and the kitchen, and nap some more. It's different to be at home this time around, nicer in some respects because I can nap during the day. However, this time around I have a 10 month old to care for, which is a different kind of work. Fortunately for me, Lyddie is a really easy baby, willing to play on her own, goes down to nap and bed without too much trouble, still takes morning and afternoon naps (knock on wood), and sleeps through the night. So I really can't complain.

We're very excited about this development, since we have always wanted our children spaced pretty close together, especially to be playmates and friends for each other when we're missionaries on the Rez, where life can be a little lonely sometimes. So, praise the Lord, He has blessed us with another growing baby!

It is hard to believe sometimes that we're doing it again, that our family is growing, that Lyddie will be a big sister. I feel like I'm holding my breath sometimes until I can hear the heartbeat, which makes it so much more real. I am so thankful to our God for the blessings He has poured out on us. I know that life with more than one small child is hard, difficult, trying, and will test me to the limits, but I also know that having Lyddie, watching her grow, play, smile, talk, and learn is one of my very greatest joys in all of life, and it will be the same with this new baby.

I ran across this prayer from the Lutheran prayer book this morning online, and was thankful, since it captures the prayer of my heart these last few weeks, and upcoming months.

"O great God and Father of all who call upon You,

magnificent are Your works, I glorify your holy name.

You are my helper. Complete what you have begun in me,

and keep this child safe from all harm, and daily bestow on us

health and strength. Guide me through Your Spirit, and let me be

constantly mindful of my privilege and my responsibility as mother.

At all times let me place my trust in You and Your fatherly care,

knowing that from generation to generation Your
mercy is upon those who lean upon You.
I commit both my child and myself to Your mercy and goodness.
Relying on Jesus, my Redeemer, I pray, give me calmness,
patience, and quiet happiness, and make me, in good time,
a joyous mother of a happy child.
In Jesus' name, Amen."

Still here

2010-09-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Summer is clearly gone based on our weather. Life has continued on much the same! Lyddie is 10 months old and is still just as much fun as always. Our life is mostly happening here at home, with a lot of evening TV... recently we're addicted to Veronica Mars after Lyddie goes to bed, which unfortunately only ran three seasons, so we'll soon have to find another show... or I suppose we could do something other than watch television... ha.

Poor baby is sick with a cold so I'm staying home with her from church today, since the nursery's not an option, and I'm not bringing a sick baby into the cry room, either.

I'm re-reading the Harry Potter books, as well as reading "My Life with the Great Pianists" by Franz Mohr, a great book a friend from church lent me. Jesse and I have always loved reading aloud, so in the car we're reading the Hunger Games trilogy, and halfway through the final book which just came out. These books are amazing and awesome and intense, considering they're geared toward teens. I'm also reading classics like "Jamberry," "Goodnight Moon," and "Baby Night-Night," to keep my tastes very broad.

I've been working hard on knitting a jumper for my Lyddie girl, and accidentally made a small version of it before realizing how small it really was, so now I'm making another, larger one. I'm also planning to make her a stuffed hippo or lambie for her birthday, which is fast approaching! The money's not there to get the yarn, but once I can get the yarn, that baby is my big project for fall!

I have yet to decorate my house for fall, which is sad, since that usually happens early in September. I've been trying to "purge" our house a little at a time which is mostly reorganizing older stuff, since we really haven't accumulated all that much beyond baby stuff, which we plan to save most of for future offspring. The reorganization will help us when we finally get to move to Yakima, so we can pack and load faster if everything is pretty put together. There'll still be the big packing required of every move, but here's to hoping it makes it go smoother.

I've been desperately missing my piano, especially with the cold weather approaching and indoors time taking over. I miss playing so much, and now that I'm not working and have the time to sit and play, my piano's being stored at a friend's until we move. We didn't figure two flights of stairs with a narrow landing would make much sense with the last move. But now I'm regretting it and saddened by its absence.

My birthday was yesterday, and was complete with a trip to urgent care to make sure Lyddie wasn't getting an ear or sinus infection. We went out to breakfast at my favorite bakery, Wild Wheat, afterward, and then had a quiet day at home. A long afternoon nap is never a bad thing, and Jesse made a chocolate cheesecake for me in the evening! I opened his gift to me, which is a new trilogy that I just discovered, Tales of the Kingdom - but he loved in childhood. They're basically children's stories (but not at all children's stories) that are allegories for our Christian life. They are beautiful and moving stories with gorgeous illustrations, and I'm so excited to read the rest! I've only just about finished the first book, which we borrowed from Jesse's family, and now we have our own set. It was such a beautiful and special gift that will get so much use as we read them to our children and are enabled to explain faith concepts more simply with the help of the books.

Lastly, of course, are some pictures of our playground when the weather was nicer a few weeks ago. She loved swinging and playing in the woodchips! It's so fun to watch her explore and discover new things in the world - like pinecones.

Our family at Riverfront Park in Spokane, enjoying the sun together... and Lyddie enjoying the ducks nearby!

Life - August 2010

2010-08-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, it sure is hard to get at the computer when your husband works from home on it through the day! Seeing as he's at a Mariner's game tonight, I've pumped out two short posts in one sitting!

We're at 50% of our financial support now and praying that it will continue to increase. We are branching out to other churches as we feel we have pretty much exhausted our immediate contacts list. If anyone actually reads this, we'd love it if you could bring us before the Lord as we seek His direction on where to go next in our support raising adventure. It feels like we've been doing this forever, but in truth, we're probably right where most missionaries are after a year of support raising for long-term placements.

We spent a week on the Reservation a couple weeks ago and I was again astounded by the need in front of my very eyes. It continues to remind me of a third world country in many respects, and the beautiful people need Jesus as desperately as I do. We got to attend our first traditional feast - celebrating the harvest of huckleberries - which was an exciting experience. The more I learn of the culture and the people, the more I was struck by the juxtaposition of the beauty and darkness. Everything seems intensified for me on the Rez; emotions are intensified, struggles are intensified, joys are intensified. It's like life in high definition with input and output moving so quickly that I have to consciously sit and process sometimes. I wrote a little about our experiences over there on our other blog, Trail to Hope. Below are a few pictures I snapped at Kid's Club in the White Swan housing project, Totus Park. I'll refrain from posting about the statistics that these kids currently face or will probably face one day, but that's what I mean about the beauty and the darkness moving side by side. I know those statistics and could rattle them off as well as I can rattle off John 3:16, and I have to shove them far to the back of my head when I play with these lovely babes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyddie is crawling now, and crawling faster every day. She will be 9 months next week. She's pulling up to stand on occasion and sometimes doing some miniscule cruising along furniture. As a speech therapist, I'm fascinated and thrilled at her babbling voice. She loves eating and eats almost anything I put in front of her. I can't think offhand of one thing she doesn't like. She loves meat - chicken, pork, beef, she wolfs it down. I love watching her eat. Basically I love watching her, interacting with her, loving on her. It's amazing to me that just a year ago she was still moving around in my womb, and now she has so much striking personality, which I can't wait to watch grow and grow!

one man's trash is my treasure

2010-08-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Recently we have stumbled across a few treasures. At Goodwill the other day, I found this beautiful solid wood push toy for $7 and I couldn't believe it!! I'm sure it would have cost a fortune if we bought it new, and since I have a deep-seated love for wooden toys, we couldn't pass this up. It was in near perfect condition and just needed to be wiped down a bit. I think it's supposed to be a little doll stroller based on the seat and tray. Lyddie has already fallen in love with it and likes to spin the little figures and stand gripping the handle.

A few weeks back we were walking out to our car and I saw this little table by the dumpster. It was painted solid black, but it looked like it had a little potential to be restored and be a little gem for my home. Jesse started sanding it down and we were shocked to find a beautiful inlay pattern underneath the thick and ridiculous coat of black paint.

Why would anyone paint over this? Different kinds of wood interlock to make the floral pattern. It's still a work in progress and Jesse is hoping he can get a lot of the black paint out of the carvings on the legs, but we'll see what he can do. It's looking beautiful.

We made a little splurge, probably irresponsibly, on this duvet cover set at IKEA yesterday. We went in to do a little gift-shopping for friends and family but I knew going in that I wanted to look at duvets. I have long wanted another bedspread to change in and out with the quilt we have already, and I need to do a little repair work on our quilt anyway. I love this pretty duvet that goes over our down comforter (yes, I realize it's August. That's how cold the weather has been here) and it was really reasonable, so we just went for it. It brightens up our bedroom so much. It's a much more white than the photo at the bottom shows.

Isn't it pretty? I love it!

Be still my beating heart

2010-07-18T22:44:00.000-07:00

Oh Adelaide.

Adelaide at 7 months. Be still my heart. Oh my sweet baby. (and -Oh my hot man.)

Oops, there goes my heart stopping again. Beat, heart, beat!

Lyddie is so fascinated with that baby in the mirror, but my love for that baby far surpasses her sweet little fascination.

Lyddie is truly a delight every day. There surely has never been a more precious baby girl.

We took her for her first studio photo shoot yesterday since there was a really good deal on a package at the studio in Babies R Us, and for being just a generic photography studio, the pictures seem to be adorable and I can't wait for them to come in. As I told my mom, they'd really have to fail to make that baby look bad in her little tutu and pink ribbon ballet slippers!

She's eating anything and everything it seems - or just about! We tried yogurt with blueberries this week and she loved it, eating every single bite. She is a really great eater and not picky, which is lovely, especially since through work I see the pickiest eaters imaginable. It's fun to see a baby who eats normally. She is definitely a carb and fruit lover - just like her mamma!

She babbles all the time with lots of vowel play. She also loves to say "dadada" and just started to say "mamama" this week! Not words since they don't have any meaning yet, but it's still fun to hear that little voice babbling away, screeching, singing, hollering, and cooing. There's a reason I'm a speech therapist - language and speech development just sparks a little fire in my heart!

She has now mastered crawling - backwards. One of these days she'll figure out forwards. She has been dancing by shaking her head back and forth (like "no") whenever she hears music, but today she started copying up and down (like "yes"). She looks like the sweetest little headbanger in the world and just puts us in fits of laughter.

Oh the little hands that reach out for me, the smile that lights up the room when she sees me, the bright eyes that spark with recognition and joy when I come near.

Motherhood is truly the best walk I could ever imagine, even with the trials and anxiety that it brings. The joy, wonder, and love is worth every wrinkle and (so far, 2!!) gray hairs I will earn from it.

Hungry

2010-07-16T18:37:00.001-07:00

1) The dogs downstairs must have been gone for a weekend but now they're back and howling in full force. Maybe they smell my baked potato in the oven this time and are coveting. I know I am coveting - my own baked potato. I wish the oven would finish up with it so I can have it back!!

2) Jesse has been gone all week. He is coming back late tonight. He said he would be home around 10 but I know it will be later than that. Therefore, I have made the executive decision to keep my baby up late and go get my favorite treat after dinner - a milkshake. What I really want is a peanut butter milkshake from Kidd Valley, but the nearest Kidd Valley is at least a half hour away and I am pretty sure I don't want to take the time and gas when there are also delicious milkshakes at the suburban "Country Burger and Teriyaki Drive-in" a mere 5 minutes away. So I think I'll settle for the hole in the wall Country Burger. Why is it called that? I don't know. I just know that they have good milkshakes and are owned by a sweet Asian family. Fun Fact: the lady behind the counter at Country Burger was the first stranger to ask if I was expecting when I was finally starting to show with Lyddie.

3) Lyddie refuses to crawl. Well, actually she just can't figure it out but she spends all day alternating between TRYING to crawl and screeching that she can't or howling because she's backed herself up in an awkward spot and is stuck. Like straddling a chair leg while laying on her tummy. This is because she easily scoots backwards but has not figured out the movement necessary for forward motion. Between her and the dogs and a missing husband, I am hanging onto my sanity by a teeny little thread.

4) My new TV discoveries include Friday Night Lights, which I admit to scoffing at for the first couple seasons for some made-up and lame reason, and Pushing Daisies. The former is really an amazing show with great characters and interesting storylines and the latter is just hilarious and quirky.

5) My daughter's new obsession is ducks. Not real ones since her access to a real duck in our apartment is rather limited. No, I mean rubber ducks and toy ducks. The obsession actually began months ago in the bathtub but has extended to stealing other children's toys and whining when she can't have it. She also loves books with ducks and points to the duck on each page. Weird.

6) I just bought my first new swimsuit in at least 4 years, although that story is for another day.

7) I have been knitting this adorable little dress for months with the hopes that Lyddie would still fit into the 6-12 month size by the time it was done. Only to realize at the very end that I accidentally made the 3 month size, which will definitely not work. So now I'm modifying the pattern and making a new one that will hopefully fit for much longer.

I think my dinner is ready and oh surprise, Lyddie is stuck against the coffee table and fussing. Signing off,

Chitter Chatter, what's the matter?

2010-07-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

Wow. This summer is going by way too fast! It's already mid-July and I feel like summer just started!

Jesse has been spending time over on the Rez so I've been home alone with Lyddie a lot. We felt like this was a good idea so that he can make contacts and do some support raising while he's over there, since summer teams coming through from across the US afford a lot of new faces and churches that may be willing and interested in supporting us. We hit 50% of our support last week, which was a big milestone for us! That is halfway to our full income and a few new developments are in the works that may prove to be a big help in getting us into our work by our hopeful goal of October. We really have no idea if that's the Lord's plan, but that's what we're striving for, in part for practical reasons (because our lease is up then and we would love to just be able to pack up and move rather than paying the higher rent for month-to-month) and so that we could get settled in before the holidays roll around. We're just praying and waiting on the Lord's clear guidance for when to go and where to step next. I am learning to be ever so patient and I am also learning about the longsuffering patience of God with me when I'm IMpatient! I miss Jesse when he's gone and it makes me so appreciate his companionship as a friend when he is here.

Lyddie is almost crawling and will be 8 months later this week! I can't believe how fast time has flown and I am more in love with her every day. She is a sweet girl and really a good baby. Everyone talks and jokes about how she has red hair so she is and will continue to be a terror, and there are times that she's just a normal fussy baby, but most of the time I am so proud of her because she is just sweet. She is mesmerized by other people, and other people are mesmerized by her, so that works out well. I can't wait to see what new things she does every day.

My brother Andrew just returned home after nine months teaching English in Shanghai and it has been fun to have our whole family back together again, at least for a while before he leaves for China again in the fall. We have enjoyed watching him get to know Adelaide, since she was born after he left and he never got to meet her. I love watching my brothers get to know her and love on her. It's amazing the tenderness she brings out in them - and the goofiness! Their new role as uncles has opened up sides of their personality that I have never seen before. I guess that's what babies do!

Despite all the naysayers, I am still cloth diapering and still glad I am. Just sayin'.

With Jesse gone, I am torn about what to do in the evenings. Usually we watch a TV show together on Netflix or something and then climb into bed and read. But without him here, I can't decide what to do with all the options before me. Therefore, I post on my blog and then I think I will fall into bed with my book. But I think I will have some ice cream first, because how can I resist ice cream?

June highlights!

2010-06-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, well. What have been up to, you might ask, that would keep me so long from blogging? Let me give you a brief glimpse into just a few moments of our life from the last few weeks...

Over Memorial Day weekend, my mom- and brother-in law came to visit! Although the weather decided not to cooperate, we decided to venture onto the ferry and head over to one of the nearby islands for lunch and sightseeing...

My mom-in-law Becky with my turkey husband (one of the few pictures he knowingly cooperated for)

Becky and bro-in-law Caleb looking cold and windswept

Lyddie with her Grammie Becky

My (very teenage) brother Sam and partner in Cribbage... and in crime... on the ferry

Mimi and Poppy doting on their dear granddaughter (and look, Daddy is cooperating again!)

Lookin' good, he and I!

My favorite part about this picture is that no one is looking - at me, at least.

My mom and I on our Caribbean cruise.

(I wish. No, we were in a sweltering tiny pizza parlor for lunch)

My dad and I (for some reason, one or both of us always looks weird in pictures together, it seems, but I'm sticking with this one. It's the least weird of all the ones I have)

The gang

The next weekend, we took Lyddie to her first Mariner's game at Safeco field...

She clearly enjoyed it the game to the fullest. Since we lost by at least 10 points, I gave her permission to snooze away.

With Uncle Josh, who is completing his obligatory baby time.

And Lyddie had her first (of MANY) trips to the library... that's my girl - already into books!

We have also been attending a play group at the center where I work and Lyddie loves to watch the other kids - including that funny lookin redhead on the other side of the mirror!

Finally we had a (yes, A, as in ONE) nice day and we took advantage of the weather and spent time up at our garden! We are already instilling in her a love for greens, as evidence by her obsession with eating the grass!

And last, but not least, my brother Austen's high school graduation (he's right in the middle of the picture next to his friend with the long blonde hair). Partyin' to celebrate at The Ram with my family and grandparents!

There's always more, but those are the highlights for now!

Monday Morning Mathematics

2010-06-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

Making the bed: 3 minutes

Cleaning the bathroom: 20 minutes

Making breakfast: 5 minutes

Cleaning up breakfast and putting away dishes in dishwasher: 10 minutes

Sweeping the kitchen: 2 minutes

Dressing, changing, feeding, playing with Baby: 60 minutes

Putting Baby down for nap: 10 minutes

Putting away toys and tidying up the living area: 10 minutes

Dusting the bedroom: 15 minutes

Vacuuming the bedroom and living room: 15 minutes

Going to an appointment and going grocery shopping: 180 minutes

Putting away groceries: 10 minutes

Making lunch: 10 minutes

Feeding and changing the baby (again): 15 minutes

Sweeping the kitchen (again): 3 minutes

Mopping the kitchen (on hands and knees with a rag. endless fun.): 15 minutes

6.38 busy hours enjoying the morning as a mommy to one darling baby

2010-05-31T20:22:00.001-07:00

Full sinuses

Plugged nose

Pounding head

Aching body

Tired

oh my.

When will this cold season be over and the summer arrive? I can't believe that we are still perpetually rainy and cool here - I mean, I know it's Seattle, but seriously? Tomorrow is June and the high for the next few days is 60 and the forecast is basically decreasing sun and increasing rain up through Friday.

Only in Seattle is it noticeable and significant that each day has a few more "raindrops" on the weather picture for the day. And only in Seattle does the picture of Saturday with the possibility of a high of 66 and the sun peeking out from the clouds bring some hope!

And so I muddle through the beginning of a new week with a head stuffed full of mucous and a heart weary of the downpours!

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Hope it's nicer where you are!

Daddy NOT dropping Baby Dear

2010-05-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

After eight years of blogging, I have finally figured out how to post a video.

And I have finally figured out how to edit a video, which will make Jesse particularly grateful, since the original ending of this video was him almost dropping the baby. And then sheepishly looking up and asking if I caught that on camera. Which I did.

Being the loving and gracious wife that I am, I edited that bit out. Yet I couldn't let him escape scot-free without mentioning it? A lesson must be learned here. My baby must not be dropped on her head. Or will drop you on your head, at least figuratively in front of my hordes of faithful blog readers...

;)

Visitors

2010-05-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

Lately we have been visiting lot of churches. We are very happy with our home church, so no, we are not looking for a new church home. We are begging for money and prayers.

Well, begging is an extreme word. To be more MC (missionary-correct, get it? har har) we are "sharing about the ministry the Lord has called us to and giving the Body of Christ an opportunity to participate in His work among Native America."

And that's true, it really is, even though I joke about it.

But do you know how hard it is to ask people for money?

Folks, it's not easy, it's really not, although the more you do it and more convinced and passionate you are about getting where you want to go, the easier it gets.

Plus I usually let Jesse do that part. (Thanks, dear. I love you!)

But all that aside, we have been so amazed and blessed at the beauty and diversity of Christ's body. We attended a church today in Seattle that is part of a denomination other than our own and was yet again surprised at this beauty of variety.

This church is smaller than our home church. It meets in the original building that was constructed long long ago (in a galaxy far away - oh wait... no, in Seattle) and while dilapidated, is gorgeous with it's stained glass windows, balcony, domed sanctuary and wooden pews.

But the people - the people were the most stunning of all. And while they are different than the people that I see in my own church on a regular basis, they are no more and no less beautiful. Just different.

For example, when I took Lyddie to the nursery to feed her, I was able to chat with a Samoan lady. This mother of 11 told me about a time in her life three years ago when she lost two boys in the span of 10 days. I remember hearing about a situation at that time when some teenage boys were looking at a gun that they brought home and there was an accident and one of the boys died. That was this family - this mother lost her son. But only 10 days before, one of her other sons was killed while waiting for a bus at a bus stop.

But you would never immediately guess that this woman has tasted so much suffering. She is clearly filled with joy and peace and hope. She is part of the missions committee at this church and her children were present and active in the worship service, with one standing up and sharing her faith with us. I was so blessed and challenged by this lovely woman of faith.

The church is made up of many different kinds of people - there were elderly couples, white couples, a man with cerebral palsy, a Filipino family, a few Samoan families, some Native Americans... the diversity of the body, not only in skin color, but style of worship and probably lifestyle, was so interesting and a beautiful surprise. It's so easy to forget the many different kinds of people the Lord has drawn into Our Family, and this support raising journey is just a wonderful and blessed reminder. We love visiting other churches and sharing about the beautiful and exciting ministry happening with Sacred Road, even when it is scary, stressful, time consuming, and exhausting. It's a true blessing to be used by God in this way and to be blessed by His people with their wonderful hospitality.

Baby Food Adventures

2010-05-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ok. So we've been feeding Lyddie solid foods for about 2 months now, starting with the rice cereal and adding some fruits, and then some veggies. Even though I'm a feeding therapist, who specializes in helping kids learn how to eat, for some reason this feeding-baby thing has me mentally stumped! I have a hard time knowing what to try next, when to try it, how rigid and careful I really need to be... I almost always lean toward LESS cautious about things than the so-called professionals say to be, so we went ahead and started early.

I think what I kind of wish I had done was make a little list of the foods I want to give Lyddie and then just check them off once she's had them and they're "safe." Then I would just have a little food log of ideas when I'm running dry on ideas of what to give her once dinner comes.

I think it's also been a strange shift from just preparing food for us to also making sure she has something to eat and since she can't really eat what we're having for dinner yet, I find that once I'm almost done making our dinner I realize I still need to pull hers together.

On top of all of that, I prefer to make my own baby food and use the jars we have in the pantry as pure back-up, but I have slipped into the convenience of using a jar since it's already room temp and I don't have to thaw it.

But seriously, if I just got in the habit of pulling out the cubes of food for her from the freezer when I go in the kitchen to make dinner, I would feel happier because I would know exactly what she was getting, where it was coming from, and what was in it.

The baby food "meat" was a wake-up call for me on this and I realized how much I really want to stay away from the jarred baby foods for her. It looked, tasted, and smelled completely revolting, whereas a chicken breast that I have cooked and ground up strikes me as completely differently, since I know exactly what parts of the meat are included in the grinding process. If any of y'all saw Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and saw him demonstrate how most chicken nuggets are made... that's exactly what this looked like. Like all the leftover parts of chicken run through a blender with some corn starch to make it grainy and thick. After watching that and having that mental image, there was no way I could feed her that muck.

So I retrieved my baby food cookbook from a friend to glean ideas on where to go next with Adelaide's food and am feeling rejuvenated to add to my stash of frozen baby foods some of the things I know she likes. I know she likes squash and we like squash, so that is easy - I can puree up some squash for her while making us some too... she likes carrots and that's easy, I always have carrots in my fridge.

The tricky part is planning foods for her that align with the produce I have as well - I am okay buying supermarket produce for her, I guess, but I would much prefer to train her from the beginning about eating what's in season. This forces creativity on my part and keeps us from the food ruts that are so common.

So as I type, the carrots are steaming and I'm headed in next to puree them and freeze them in my baby food freezer trays. I have some extra ground beef leftover from dinner last night that I haven't cooked up that I was considering as well, since I would like to start introducing meats. I think she's ready, she loves everything new we are giving her and enjoys things with a lot of flavor, so I'm considering trying that tonight as our new food...

I would make a sarcastic comment here about the "exciting life I lead" except I really do love being a stay at home mom and I do find these things exciting, challenging, and fun. These things are the reason that Jesse and I wanted me to stay home - so I could have the time to proactively parent the way we want to raise our children and run our home the way I want it run - not the leftovers that it received when I was working full time. I'm just not on top of it enough to do everything and this is our priority. We are making it work and I'm enjoying it.

Adelaide Renee, 6 months

Spring Dreamin'

2010-05-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

We planted a garden this year and I love it. It is so fulfilling to me to put seeds in the ground, water them, and watch them grow. We are already harvesting baby greens, which is so lovely, since I no longer have to buy them at the Farmer's Market! My herbs are starting to come up but aren't quite ready for harvest yet. Our peas are stretching up through the soil, reaching for the twine that will support them in their endeavor to reach the sun and the tomatoes are beginning to flower.

We are trying a few experimental plants that I'm skeptical about. I know some people here have some success with corn but we'll see what happens. We're also trying a few cool weather/short season varieties of heirloom watermelons and cantelope, so I will be praying for some delicious fresh picked fruit - after eating fresh local melons from the market the last few years, I'm spoiled for grocery-store melons for life.

Mmmm. drooling much.

We have yet to put in pumpkins, peppers, zucchini, beans, and pickling cucumbers.

Oh I love gardening. I start planning our garden in the dank dark of Seattle winters. In January I pull out my beloved seed catalog and begin drooling while gazing longingly at the beautiful colors and memorizing the descriptions.

I love planting and even weeding. But most of all I love picking and eating! Summer's coming with all the bounty of our garden and my favorite time at the Farmer's market!!

Me Time

2010-05-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

Oh to be disciplined enough to blog more consistently! I should treasure these quiet moments when Lyddie is napping and use them for MYSELF sometimes rather than cleaning and chores and support raising tasks all the time.

One thing I just realized the last week is that in the past 6 months (have I really been a mother for 6 months already??), I have pretty much never taken time all to myself to go anywhere or do anything baby-less. It's not at all that Jesse would object at all if I asked him to take Lyddie for an afternoon. It's just that I never really think to ask and I enjoy his company and doing things as a family so much that it hasn't been an issue. But I'm feeling stifled a little the last few weeks and realized I need to make sure I take time just for myself.

I think that some people get a little obsessive about "me time" and make into an idol, but I also believe it is an important and healthy thing to include in my life every week or two and will make me a better and more content wife and mother. I think I should start making it a practice to "escape" once a week for an hour or two and do something all alone, like go to a coffee shop and read a book or something. If I don't put this in place in my life now, I know I won't make it a priority when we have multiple kiddos when I will really need it.

As a type-A list maker, I have to list my escape ideas.

coffee with a book
a fancy manicure
the library
~~a pap smear~~
a walk in the park or on the waterfront nearby
the yarn store with my knitting

So my question to you, dear readers, is whether this is something you have ever tried to include in your life, and what kinds of things you like to do in your 'down time'? While I would certainly be thrilled to just visit a coffee shop alone with my book each week, I might also like a variety of ideas to draw from...

His Great Love

2010-05-05T10:07:00.001-07:00

Jesse and I just returned from a trip to our future home, White Swan on the Yakama Indian Reservation.

We have been struggling to maintain our energy and joy in financial support raising the last few weeks since it sometimes seems impossible to us that the rest of our income will come in - ever.

Of course, what we forget as chronic humans is that what is impossible for man is possible for God.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking that what is difficult for us is also difficult, on some level at least, for God. Like, it's work and a challenge for Him to find people who will support His work through us on the Rez. Or that it takes a lot of time and energy for Him to bless us. But that doesn't sound like the God in Job 38:

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth...? who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb...? Have you entered the storehouses of the snow, or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, which I have reserved...? Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain and a way for the thunderbolt, to bring rain on a land where no man is, on the desert in which which there is no man, to satisfy the waste and desolate land, and to make the group sprout with grass?

Amazing. It is no challenge or difficulty to God to pour out his provision and blessings on us. He does it daily with his wondrous might. He simply has a perfect plan for us and is working out that plan in our life as we await the mighty ways He will work in our future.

In the meantime, I am marveling at His provision for us today, yesterday, and days past, which is miraculous in so many ways. He will accomplish His work in and through us. We need only wait on His timing and faithfully serve Him in response to His great love for us.

14 (Random) Things I Love

2010-05-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

1) The way Adelaide smells like bubbles and aloe and lavender after her bath.

2) The way my heart feels after praying and seeing specific prayer requests answered, like the answer we just received to my prayer that we would be enabled to pay off Lyddie's medical bills from her birth.

3) The way we feel challenged and encouraged after a visit to the Rez and the renewed zeal we feel for working on securing our financial support so we can be long term missionaries to the Yakama people.

4) The quiet of naptime.

5) The joy of Lyddie waking up smiling and squirming and ready to play.

6) Creativity in the kitchen with cooking, meal planning, exploring new ingredients, and using up what's in the pantry.

7) Learning a new skill or craft and improving old skills and crafts.

8) Seeing our plants grow in the garden and dreaming about all the ways we will enjoy them when it's time to harvest. Baby lettuce is almost ready!

9) Finding amazing deals on craigslist for things we would otherwise have had to pay full price for, like an adorable johnny-jump-up for Adelaide we are picking up tonight!!

10) Snail mail - both sending and receiving. I even enjoy writing thank you notes.

11) Salty's amazing Sunday morning brunch with all-you-can-eat crab legs.

12) When I'm all caught up on laundry and it's all folded and put away (at least, I think I love that. It may never have happened yet).

13) Making music.

14) Pretty curtains in the window; it completely changes the look of a room!

2010-04-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

A washcloth...? Seriously, mom?

Ahh... here we go! Now you're talkin'...

Rubber Ducky, you're the one,

You make bathtime lots of fun,

Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you!

Doo doo be doo!

Maintenance

2010-04-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Maintenance Men,

We have four requests at this time.

First, the window in our baby's bedroom is cracked. I'm not sure how this happened, but my guess is that it's related to the ancient, crummy windows with aluminum frames. I don't care all that much if you fix it at this time, as long as you know about it in advance so we don't get charged for it when we eventually move out.

Second, the sink in our bathroom is clogged. My husband cleaned out our bathtub drain last week but is not going to spend the time to unclog the sink as well, especially since it's probably gunked up from before our move-in.

Third, the water pressure in our kitchen sink is really low. Why is this? I can't even hypothesize about this one.

And, my favorite and the most puzzling. The paint on the bathtub in our second bathroom is peeling, leaving a slightly gray tone in its stead. This mainly concerns me because I bathe my child in this tub and would prefer to know that she's not swallowing who knows what kind of paint. I didn't even know that paint could peel off bathtubs.

Please help us. You are wonderful and one of the few redeeming factors about apartment living.

Love always,

My Granny Phone

2010-04-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

Today I read The Lumberjack's Wife's blog post about Twitter:

Which got me thinking.

When we went in to have our phones "upgraded" at the Verizon store last month, I had to laugh because we didn't even upgrade. Jesse kept his phone and I got a phone with fewer features than my previous phone which had broken. The young guy with bleached hair and a snazzy suit at the counter asked us what we were looking for in our upgrade, and since we are a little poor and we didn't want to pay a bunch of money for something we didn't want or wouldn't use, I quietly said,

"I just want a phone I can talk on. No internet. No keyboard. No plan upgrade."

"Well," he said, "your plan is a pretty old one. It's going to be hard to find a phone that will still work with that plan." (In other words, "You guys are still using that outdated sucker of a plan?? What is WRONG with you!! Old equals BAD! OLD EQUALS BAD!!!!!")

Just a second. WHY don't all the plans work on all the phones?! What is so difficult about keeping a 500 minute plan with no internet available no matter what phone you have? I don't understand these things.

Also the Verizon store intimidates me. It's full of tiny little computers that you can hold in the palm of your hand that cost hundreds of dollars. And you have to take a number so they can help you. And I never know if we're allowed to just browse among the phones alone because it's more like a scary museum than a store to me. And there are always people next to us at the counter making demands full of technological lingo I know nothing about.

So the guy who took our number is looking at me like I'm a cavewoman and leads us to the verrrryyyy back of the store next to the tin can telephones strung together with string. And there's my phone. Simple. And I love it. Although I wish it was a pretty color like pink or blue.

He looked a little disgusted.

I guess I'm an old woman when it comes to technology. I don't understand why it's such a common assumption that advances in technology are essentially good. While they might (and I really mean MIGHT) make your life easier in some ways, they usually make your life more complicated or wrong in others.

Like cell phones. I greatly enjoy the ability to be in touch with people when I'm out and about. But I also sometimes get irritated that people can reach me whenever they want, so I often turn my phone down and just check messages later. I don't need to be in verbal contact with another human being every second of every day. And I DEFINITELY do not want or need internet on my phone to be in text contact with another human being every second of every day. I have yet to imagine a scenario where adding this option into my life would ever justify the increased cost. We have a basic 500 minute plan, never go over on our minutes and have decreased our texting because it's so often used as a cop-out when you don't want to take the effort and actually TALK with someone about something. I still use it on occasion because it is included in our plan, but I make sure I use it only occasionally so that we don't go over and get charged extra.

"Yes, sonny... I only want a phone so I can talk with my granddaughter. No new-fangled equipment on it for me..."

2010-04-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

Lonely today. I don't usually get lonely at home, but since my car is broken down and I have been watching two babies the last couple days, I haven't gotten out even for errands. And then I saw a post on facebook today by an acquaintance about a fun walk she took with a few other acquaintances, and I realized how jealous I was. I can't do stuff like that most of the week since I have both babies and the other baby's parents prefer me to stay home with her. I usually do have the go-ahead to take them both to the women's Bible study at church on Thursdays but couldn't get there because of the babies and the car.

So. This week has felt especially long and lonesome. Not to mention the looming cloud of a new car purchase we are trying to figure out how to afford, making it even harder to frivolously spend money on anything fun.

At least the babies will be napping soon so I can have some chill time and read or watch a movie and knit or something fun. And Jesse said he would bring me home a treat to help this afternoon go a little faster. I love Karis and having two babies to play with but it is a lot of work, especially when I can't take them anywhere.

Ah well. Tomorrow will be a new day. Tonight and tomorrow is the women's conference at our church so I will have some grown up time and Lyddie will stay home with Jesse.

Big Cars

2010-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have driven my trusty little Dodge Neon since 2004. I have loved this car but I think she is dying a slow and terrible death. Let me just say that I hope when I'm dying, I don't leak as much or make as many different horrible noises.

So, having put off for many weeks the inevitable, we are finally taking it in to be looked at, and have fully prepared ourselves for the possibility that we may just need to put her down. We already started looking for replacements.

My criteria: large enough for a few more kids (so it lasts us a number of years), 4WD or AWD (since we'll be moving to the other side of the state and I insist on being able to come visit my parents whenever I want), automatic locks (a true luxury after having manual locks - I never cared until I was lugging a diaper bag, carseat, and any other number of items to and from the car), air conditioning (do they even make cars without it anymore? Another true luxury after having a basic model Neon with no A/C!, but especially important if we're going to live in the desert), and a CD player. This does look like a long list, but really, I'm quite easy to please. No DVD player required, no sunroof, no leather seats necessary, nothing else fancy (although I wouldn't object to heated seats...I like my bum toasty in the winter, ha!)

Jesse suggested a minivan.

I do NOT want a minivan.

I cannot even rationally explain why the thought of driving a minivan is so repulsive to me.

I just hate them. I'm not sure why.

Which probably means I'll end up with a minivan and fall in love with it, since life seems to work that way - forcing me to beat down my pride.

Oh, that's probably it - I'm too proud to drive a minivan, I'm too elitist to count myself among the soccer moms of the world. Or something lame like that.

Nah, I just hate them, I don't like how they look, plus, the thought of driving one over the Cascade mountains in winter sounds miserable and scary to me.

So we're looking at more interesting vehicles that have adventurous names like "Explorer," and "Expedition" and "Durango." These sound way cooler than "windstar," and "odyssey," and "entourage." And I am all about being cool. It's the most important thing about me.

Right?

*crickets*

Anyway, if you're a mom of more than one child, what do you drive? What is your dream vehicle for hauling your family from place to place? What features do you love or feel like you couldn't live without that I may not have thought of yet?

Modern Education

2010-04-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a link to a post on my husband's blog, an excerpt from one of our favorite authors. He is our favorite author because our world view and values align very closely with his. Enjoy the irony of his tongue-in-cheek commentary on modern education.

Wendell Berry on Modern Education via Jesse's Wayfarer

Avocado

2010-04-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

Mommy and Baby

2010-04-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

Adelaide Renee, 4 1/2 months

Uncle Sam

2010-04-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Not everyone can say they are lucky enough to have a real Uncle Sam, but my little Adelaide is just that lucky. My brother Sam is 14 and growing up fast.

When she was born, Sam would have slept on the couch in the hospital if we'd have let him. Actually, he probably would have slept on the floor, in the bathtub, or even in the baby hospital crib. That's how smitten he was with Baby.

He's a sweet caring young man, who, although he often puts his foot in his mouth lately, and while he can't resist the temptation to let his snarky teenager-ness show through at times, he is one of my favorite people in the whole world. And you have never seen goofy until you had seen a 14 year old boy completely in love with a 4 month old baby.

We love you, PBS.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

Breakfast in Bed (or The Morning of Mess)

2010-04-02T08:45:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time, a Little Family returned home after a weekend away asking people for money. Because they got back late Sunday evening they decided to rest and clean and prepare for company all day Monday since they had guests coming that night.

Now, it was a great rarity that the Little Wife arose in the morning before her Husband. Of course, she often got up to feed the baby but then she climbed back in bed, letting Husband rise for the day before she did. That fateful Monday was different. It was an excellent opportunity for Little Wife to surprise her Husband.

She got up with Baby early and let Husband keep sleeping. She changed the Baby (noticing while doing so that Husband didn't put the disposable diaper on securely and it was around Baby's knees, warranting an entire crib clean-up and new clothes for Baby. She chuckled as she cleaned up). She got Baby dressed, fed Baby, and played with Baby. Then she made coffee (spilling coffee grounds all over the floor while trying to open the new coffee package, warranting a good sweep through the kitchen) and started making muffins.

"I hope Husband sleeps longer," she thought, "so I can surprise him with breakfast in bed!"

He did indeed sleep through Baby fussing, talking, screaming, and being put down for a nap. By then it was the ripe old hour of 8:30 and the muffins were finished baking. Little Wife carefully balanced the muffins and two cups of coffee, along with the butter dish, on a tray, knowing that one of the coffee cups was slightly precarious. She slooooowly carried the tray into the bedroom, and just as she was setting down the tray on the little table...

UH OH!

One of the coffee cups tipped over, spilling onto the floor, onto clothes in Husband's open dresser drawer (why was it open anyway, can't anyone close drawers around here?), and into the bottom of the tray. Whispering curses, she desperately tried to remove the muffins from the tray before the coffee made its way around the bottom of the butter dish and destroyed her morning's work.

Hearing those whispered curses, Husband rolled over, observing his Crazy Little Wife in her nightshirt throwing muffins around the room and muttering to herself.

Crazy Wife looked up, noticed he was awake and greeted her Husband.

"Happy s***ty morning. I want to cuss my brains out," she stated, and stormed out of the room.

Halfway to the kitchen, she started giggling, quickly retrieved a towel to mop up the mess, and dashed back to the bedroom in hysterics. A relieved looking Husband switched on the lamp to see what the commotion was about and by the time the mess was more-or-less cleaned up, the two were roaring with laughter.

(Please note: This language is really not like Crazy Little Wife, but waking up once or twice every night with Baby Dear really brings out the best in her.)

The two giggled their way through a lovely breakfast.

And the muffins weren't even damp.

The End.

The many faces of Adelaide Renee

2010-03-26T10:41:00.001-07:00

(Readers, be forewarned to ignore the strange, tired, and serious looking woman in the background. She is, among other things, tired and focused much more on the angle of the camera on her Darling than she is of how she looks to the world)

...Concerned but interested...

...Fascinated... (like the drool on mom's shoulder?)

...Inquisitive...

...Pondering... (Mom, why are you snarling behind me?)

...Tease... (Mommy, what ARE you doing with your face here? You look WEIRD!)

Much better

2010-03-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling much better this evening. Maybe it's because my dear husband did the dishes and I now have a few minutes to relax.

Please give me just a minute to rant. I apologize to those who don't watch American Idol. Please bear with me or skip the following paragraph.

I am so sad about American Idol this year. Idol is usually something I look forward to with great anticipation and this year has been a complete disappointment. The best part of watching, besides Crystal and Siobhan (and, surprisingly, Didi), is this website: Idolatry I'm already just starting to think about next season. On top of the strange "talent" on the show this year, I never agree with the judges, I don't know what's going on. I feel like I'm in a black hole or alternate reality when I listen to a great performance and the judges just tear it apart. I find it all very confusing.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest.

My precious four month old is stunningly beautiful to me in every way. I know with every fiber of my being that she is the most adorable, wonderful, beautiful creature ever born. And I know that every other mother is just as positive of this fact about their own children. But I still know I'm right.

Hey, momma, look at me, so big in my Bumbo seat!

Here's Adelaide and Karis, the 9 month old I take care of twice a week. They are just precious together. Last week they both happened to have blue bows in their hair and blue jeans on, so how could I not snap some sweet photos?

"I wanna hold your hand...."

"I wanna hold your hand."

Ten (Minus Two) Things (Almost) Tuesday

2010-03-22T22:52:00.001-07:00

I only have a couple minutes to update before I need to go catch some zzzz's. There are many things going on in our lives right now, and I'm exhausted all the time.

1. Adelaide is now 4 months and enjoying rice cereal with her whole heart. It got to the point that I felt guilty eating in front of her because her little mouth would start going and she would lean toward me and my spoon, so I decided to start her on cereal on the early end of the age recommendation and so far, so good! She's still working on coordinating with the spoon, but she's getting it more smoothly every day. She continued to refuse the bottle for the most part so we're officially done, especially since she is getting more skilled at taking milk and water in both a sippy cup and a little open cup. I left her with Jesse the other night for a few hours to go to a concert my brother was playing in, and she was able to take a few ounces from the sippy cup! She also took all 3 oz while I was at work last Tuesday so hopefully that will increase with more and more practice! Look at how big she is!

2. We have been working our booties off raising financial support so we can move to the Yakama Indian Reservation. We jumped up 14% in the last 6 weeks, and if we continue to see increases like this, we'll have 100% of our support pledged in 6 months.

3. We are driving the 5+ hour trip to Spokane this Friday with Adelaide so we can meet with people to share about our future ministry. I am praying that we will have a lot of meetings lined up - so far we only have 2, but Jesse is still calling folks.

4. I'm working 1 day a week and still doing childcare for a friend 2 other days each week. This is a great way to be able to make a little money but stay home with Adelaide but I'm pretty tired lately. I miss the days when I just had everyday at home and open.

5. We are planting a garden plot in a piece of land at our church that has been turned into a garden. We actually are heading up this project for the time being so that it would be ready in time for us to use it. We both love gardening and are excited to finally get to use real land for it rather than container gardening. We are planting all sorts of exciting fruits and vegetables with thrilling names like "Bloody Butcher Corn" and "Cream of Sasketchewan watermelon." This is really nice experience because we have long batted around the idea of including a community garden as part of our work in White Swan, especially as an educational opportunity for the kids Jesse will work with. Organizing this here gives us good experience and knowledge to prepare for that possibility, we think.

6. After 4 months of diaper rash, I finally changed to a fragrance-free diaper detergent. DUH. It is making all the difference and I'm so pleased. Why did I not think to try this before?!?! Sometimes I wonder about myself.

7. Jesse brought home mint chocolate chip ice cream tonight and it was completely delicious.

8. I just read the saddest book that was much better than I thought it was going to be. I almost decided to quit reading it because I didn't like how it portrayed marriage and men, but I stuck with it and it completely redeemed itself. (The book, if you're wondering, was "Mattie Spenser's Diary" by Sandra Dallas.) I'm glad now that I stuck with it but I'm still saddened by parts of it.

Alright, time to crash. I was going to try to think up two more interesting things and try to go back and make this post more entertaining than just listing random stuff on my mind but I am way too tired for that. Oh how I long for the days of just being home with a tiny newborn! Have those words ever been uttered? Those are supposed to be the days you don't miss...

Whew!!

2010-02-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

This has been one of those weeks where I feel like I can hardly catch my breath or sit down for more than five minutes. We had two appointments and grocery shopping on Monday, I worked on Tuesday and attempted to catch up with some housework and today I had an eye appointment, a dentist appointment for some fillings, church dinner, ordered some new glasses, and am heading out in the middle of the night to pick up my friend Morgan and her baby from the airport. They are staying with us for the next few days...

Tomorrow and Friday I am watching the little girl I'm now providing daycare for and trying to pull together plans for the big luncheon we are having on Sunday following Adelaide's baptism. My in-laws are coming into town on Saturday for the baptism and will want to spend time with us.

I'm tired just thinking about this week and while this weekend will be fun, I am looking forward to life going back to normal eventually!

In other news, Adelaide's new favorite activity is bath time in the big tub and she is so adorable kicking and splashing around! I'll try to post pictures soon...

First Valentine's Day

2010-02-15T00:34:00.000-08:00

Adelaide Renee, 12 weeks

Tuesday Thoughts

2010-02-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

1) I am drowning in laundry. I refuse to fold our clothes until the entire four loads are clean and dry, otherwise I have to stop in the middle before putting them away and it ruins my whole system. That means that I have a few very overflowing baskets in the meantime.

2) Adelaide is now going through a phase where she wakes up 15 minutes after falling asleep and then cries and cries. This is frustrating when she wakes up at midnight to eat and then takes another hour to fall back asleep, even though she is clearly very tired. Fortunately once she drifts back off after 1-2 rounds, she still sleeps for a while, so I can make up for the sleep lost. However, I am not my best at 1 and 2 am these days. Anyone have good tips for how to have self-control and be patient and loving when you are woken up 2 minutes after you finally fall asleep? It's not my area of strength!

3) What is the fascination with Rihanna and her music? She is not interesting and based on her appearance on Ellen yesterday, she has horrible fashion taste. What is with the toy soldier hat, frizzy bangs, and shirt made of ruffles? She is trying too hard.

She should be more like me and just throw on a wrinkly t-shirt and maternity jeans every day. Yes, it's 3 months later and my maternity jeans are still the most comfortable pair I own. Sad. Today I am wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans but they are are really uncomfortable at the waist. And I hate jeans-shopping so much I will refuse to go until I lose more weight. Motivation, baby. (I might cave eventually, though.)

4) Adelaide still refuses the bottle and I think I may give up, since it's clearly a battle of wills at this point. She has proven 4-5 times that she CAN take it but then 45 times that she doesn't WANT to take it, and the more of a fight it becomes, the more negative it all is. Yesterday I tried this cup:

which has a silicone flat nipple. I put cold water in it to make it a totally different experience to start with it and she was really into it. I wonder if it's because it's flat. She didn't do a great job sucking the water out, but she did try a bunch of times. I'm considering this route. The other tip I had from one of my feeding expert friends was to try an open cup using a tiny medicine cup to get her to at least enjoy taking milk some other way than the breast. I may also try spoon feeding it in for the same reason. What an adventure. It's definitely different being a parent problem solving these things than a therapist! I will have some new perspectives and insight on the frustration level of this when I go back to working with families around feeding.

5. I am excited to have pulled pork sandwiches with leftover Spicy Shredded Pork from the Pioneer Woman. I am also making trying her delicious looking Best Baked Beans Ever. This will hopefully be better than the weird Better Homes Basil Chicken in Coconut Curry sauce I made last night. I was so hoping it would be yummy but I was not impressed. Jesse liked it though, so I'm not sure what it was about it that didn't taste right to me. Maybe too much curry. Anyway.

6. We just watched the final episode of Dollhouse, one of our favorite tv shows over the past two seasons. Another great Joss Whedon show cancelled for no good reason like Firefly. It was clearly a step above almost all the other shows on TV right now. This happens to us all the time, so we should probably just stop watching TV because we're always frustrated when our favorites get cancelled after a season or two, but other crap shows like Two and a Half Men or Heroes run for season after season. I don't know what Joss will be up to next but I can assure you that we will be watching it religiously. He's a genius. :)

7. We got to go on a real date on Saturday and finally saw Avatar (which was still sold out, by the way). What a beautiful movie with beautiful effects. I loved the gorgeous planet and scenery. It kept drawing my thoughts to heaven and the beauty that we will be surrounded with, beauty that can't be destroyed, the Garden Restored. I didn't know going in what the storyline was and was totally surprised and shocked at the obviously intentional parallel to Native American history with elements of all colonialism (e.g., Africa) included. The best analogy I have ever seen to where the Native Americans are took place when The People, their home destroyed, gathered at their sacred place and grieved. Most of Native America is stuck there because, unlike the movie, they don't know of a hero who has come to give them hope. That's why we long to move to the Yakama Reservation - to show them the Hero who will give them hope, defeat the true enemy, and bring His people together in unity, love, and everlasting peace.

9. Our cat Chloe has started a nasty habit of urinating wherever she pleases, most of the time on a pile of our dirty clothes waiting to go in the washer or a blanket on the floor. I'm guessing it has to do with the baby because she avoids Adelaide like the plague, unlike our other cat, Mindy, who seems to love her and is always sniffing her, licking her, and curling up with baby and me. I don't know what to do about Chloe, but it's getting really old. Blah! Anyone else ever have this problem?

10. I don't have 10 things after all. Happy Tuesday!

Missionary Support, January 2010

2010-01-29T09:56:00.000-08:00

We had to take a little hiatus from our intense focus on support raising since we a) moved when I was 38 weeks pregnant and b) gave birth to Adelaide and c) got through the holidays.

What's so exciting to me is that we're diving back in and I think both Jesse and I have a wonderfully renewed passion for meeting with brothers and sisters and sharing about what God is doing on the Yakama Reservation and our great and glorious vision of how things could be if we receive enough partners in ministry to send us. We have a few creative ideas that we are pursuing and are privileged to be the missionaries supported by our children's Sunday School program at our church this quarter. We get to travel to the different classrooms and share with His little ones about the great need for the little ones just a few hours away from us. We are now at a little over 25% of our monthly support pledges and the number continues to grow as we schedule meetings, make phone calls, work on communication with folks who are already supporting us, etc. We have had an awesome week of meetings and are continually humbled and surprised at who decides to partner with us.

We also received some beautiful news this week from the Granberrys who are already at work on the Rez. One of the men we have been lifting to the Lord for salvation for a few years now vocally committed his life to Christ in the past week. Another family we have been praying for indicated to Chris they are praying that their son/nephew/grandchild will walk in his footsteps as a Christian pastor on Indian Reservations. There are times when the situation on the reservation feels so hopeless and then Christ pierces the darkness with a ray of His brilliant light and the darkness scatters. We so long to be there in person as workers. The fields are truly white for the harvest and the Christian workers are so few among the Native American people group. This is an upcoming year of hard work and transition for us but we continually preach to ourselves that it is so worth it to be part of the revival we believe the Lord has in store for the Yakama Reservation and beyond.

Oh what to do...

2010-01-26T13:40:00.000-08:00

My sweet little pumpkin is a stubborn, strong-willed little toot.

Just like her momma.

Her latest shenanigan (over the past month) is refusal of a bottle.

We have tried everything, including

trying a variety of nipples,

sticking with one nipple,

using only breastmilk warmed,

warming the nipple,

having daddy feed her,

having mommy feed her,

having grandma feed her,

having grandpa feed her,

having Auntie Jodi feed her,

feeding her sitting,

feeding her walking,

feeding her bouncing gently on the ball,

doing a bottle at the same feeding every day,

doing a bottle at every feeding that daddy's home for,

trying to wait until she's reallly hungry,

offering her the bottle when she's almost content after breastfeeding,

squeezing milk into her mouth so she gets the idea,

dripping milk into her mouth so she gets the idea.

The only thing suggested to us that we haven't yet tried (because we haven't had a chance) is letting her have a little water through the bottle, oh and having her suck on the bottle nipple with no milk like it's a pacifier, which I know won't work because...

she also will NOT take a pacifier.

Oh sure, she'll let it sit in her mouth, she'll even chew on it with her gums, but will she close her lips around it and suck?

That's a big, fat, NO.

She has, however, taken 2 oz out of the bottle about 2-3 times in the past month. So I know she can figure it out. She's just so stinkin stubborn that she is determined to make this a fight, and I'm determining not to.

So, after we had 3 MISERABLE attempts at waiting her out (which is what everyone kept telling us to do), we completely scrapped that idea since listening to her scream for 4 hours because she's hungry but won't take a bottle is not my idea of a good time. Now we are simply offering her the same bottle toward the end of each time she breastfeeds when Jesse's home. He is always the one to offer it first, and she will, in about 60% of opportunities, close her lips around the nipple and (sort of) suck 3-4 times. Not enough to actually gain any nutritional value but enough to give her positive experiences with the stinkin bottle.

I don't think I would care half as much about this if I hadn't committed to going back to work 1 day a week starting mid-February, and she's just not going to be able to go 8 hours without eating. My sweet friend who is going to be watching her, offered to bring her up to me 2 times through the day, but it's about a 30 minute drive from her home each way and plus, she still eats more than twice in a 6-9 hour period. And I would never let her bring her to me more than once a day which is still a huge commitment.

Once she's on solids (I will probably start some cereals around 4 months), she will maybe be able to go a little longer and maybe by then she won't be eating as often. Still... it's stressing me out, especially since I would sure love a real date with my husband in the next couple months.

I should have known I would never end up with one of those easygoing, mild-mannered, flexible little babies. She really does have my personality...

Reflections on children in church

2010-01-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

As my friends and I began to move into the child-rearing years, I noticed a sad and upsetting phenomenon within churches we have visited and attended - the isolation of young children from our worship. This takes many forms, and I haven't yet determined if it is more perpetuated by parents of young children or by others within the Body. Whichever it is, it seems to be dangerous to me, since children are and have always been, key players in the covenant family and in corporate worship. Throughout all of the Old Testament, God continually emphasizes the importance of teaching our children about Him and about His covenant. For example, in Deuteronomy 6:20, He says "When your son asks you in time to come, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?' then you shall say to your son, 'We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand...And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day.'"

How will our children know about the statutes, the testimonies, and the means of grace like the Lord's Supper, if they are shuttled off to children's programs for the majority of the worship service? I can think of just a few reasons why babies and children are encouraged to be removed from the service.

1) If we remove them to protect them from some of the topic matter in Scripture and sermons, why do we feel that some Scriptures are unsuitable for children's ears? Why can't we work harder as parents to bring Scriptures down to a level that children can understand, and how can we do that if they're not even with us?

2) If we remove them to protect them from becoming bored, are we not teaching them that the service is boring rather than finding ways to make it applicable and interesting to them? And with babies, would it not be better to strive to teach them to be quiet during the quiet parts as they grow? I understand that babies are noisy - I have one. When Adelaide gets noisy, we get up and stand in the back while bouncing her. This helps her to be quiet, and when she calms down, we sit back down. When she gets older and starts to chatter too much, we will do our best to shush her and, if she still is too noisy for a time, we will take her to the cry room or the foyer where we can still see and hear the service until she is quiet and we can bring her back in. As she gets older and understands better, I think she can learn to hush and entertain herself. Isn't this how parents functioned within the church for centuries? Why all of a sudden do we feel the need to let our children be noisy and avoid boredom at all cost? As they get older, why can't we help them listen to the sermon rather than play with toys and read a book? There are many ways to do this, my favorite being an idea by Edith Schaeffer (Francis Schaeffer's wife). She used to take a sketch book into church with her and her grandchildren and find ways to simply draw the concepts in the sermon for the youngest children. This way, she was using the time to listen, absorb, and teach the children the message in their own visual language. You don't need to be an artist to do this; line drawings work fine. She had simple symbols for Jesus (I think a cross?), God (three dots to represent the Trinity), etc., and once the young children learned this simple system, she was able to help them understand more about the teachings.

3) Do we remove children to protect the congregation (and parents) from distraction? This argument actually makes me the most frustrated because it demonstrates a sad level of individualistic thought rather than thought for the Body as a unit. If people give parents of babies and young children dirty looks when their child coos or quietly fusses for a minute, I feel like they need to closely examine their own hearts about why they are sitting in church. As I said above, has the church not, for centuries, participated in worship amidst some noise? I'm not talking about screaming babies or disorderly conduct, but it is impossible for me to picture the early church meeting in houses or synagogues and not having at least some noise from children or congregants. Why do we now feel that our worship services must be silent, as though we were at a movie theater or a play? We are active participants in worship; must we sit silently observing all that is taking place up front? That seems to be the expectation of some, but I rebel against this idea, and not just in terms of children, but in terms of all of worship. Again, I'm not talking about disorder or chaos, I'm talking about the active participation of young and old in a worship service.

Above all, it brings me great joy to see children sitting with their parents, learning about the Family they have been born into and the Great Father above us all. I love to hear the baby babbling quietly across the aisle and I always have. It gives me a chance to observe godly parents at work and brought me hope when we didn't have our own baby yet. Now, seeing slightly older children in the service from time to time brings me hope again that Lyddie will be with us learning about our Lord and choosing to walk in His ways.

Two Months

2010-01-20T15:21:00.000-08:00

The Spit Saga Sequel + other thoughts

2010-01-16T22:01:00.000-08:00

Well, the past few days we have seen no salivary "piles" either in front of our neighbors' or in the landing. This is wonderful news for us and the folks next door, too, I assume. We are so curious to know whether they caught someone or if the culprit just decided to quit. We'll be watching for any moving trucks, as this would be indicative of possible eviction.

In other news, I have been reading Julie and Julia over the past few weeks since I picked it up at Halfprice Books. Boy, am I glad I didn't pay full price for this, since it is truly one of the most boring books I have ever read. If I hadn't resolved to wade through it before having a movie night with my mom to watch the film, I would have totally put it down by now. Despite my probable status as a "foodie," I am so not into this book, which is weird, because I usually love reading about food - be it a cookbook, gardening, or autobiographical cooking stories. I'm really not that hard to please, but blah. Nothing happens in the book... I mean, sure, things happen like she cooks and her sink backs up, and her brother comes to stay with them in New York, and her good friend has an affair... and maybe I'm just not that into her writing style for most of the book. I have tried and tried to like it, but so far I'm not enthralled and I'm about 2/3 of the way through, so that probably isn't going to change. There are, admittedly, some funny parts, and she is a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which gives her a few points, but generally speaking, I think I will enjoy the movie more since I have heard it's more interesting and better all-around than the book. But, being a glutton for punishment in the name of being Type A, I will finish the book before movie night with my mom.

Having worked very hard this week, I stepped on the scale tonight and have lost 2 pounds since Monday morning! Hooray! Thank goodness for workout videos from the library, particularly the one that has individual 10-minute workouts... I love it. My abs, quads, and hamstrings sure are sore, but that's a good sign.

And last, but not least, no post would be complete without pictures of the object of my affection, the person who runs my life these days. Isn't she so sweet? I can't get over her beauty!

The Spit Saga

2010-01-15T11:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I am amazed at the crazy things we encounter in apartment living. Say, for instance, the current drama in our apartment stairwell.

When we first moved in, I noticed a strange bubbly glob of what looked like spit in the stairwell every morning. I knew it was fresh each day because by the end of the day it had sort of evaporated into a damp looking spot where a puddle used to be. I kept wondering if someone was actually spitting in the corner of the stairwell or if maybe there was something strange living up above this exact spot and oozing some weird liquid over the course of the night. Obviously, I surmised, someone is spitting. Why? I had no idea.

Move to a couple weeks later, shortly after Adelaide's birth. On my few first ventures out of the house with her, I noticed that not only was there a puddle down on the landing in the original spot, but now, each day, there was a puddle, something quite huge, in front of our next door neighbor's door. I still had absolutely no idea what to think about it, but didn't have a lot of energy to expend in trying to come up with a logical reason for this, so I didn't worry about it.

Lo and behold, shortly before Christmas, (the daily spit continuing to appear), my friend and neighbor Alisha has a baby. Alisha, her husband, and their two kids live down and over one from us (right below the people who have spit in front of their door). We were chatting one day and she said she is really frustrated with the people above them because they are being loud late into the night, which was particularly frustrating since she would just get the baby to sleep before they would start something like vacuuming or the mom cussing out her daughter. We never hear anything because the side walls in these apartments are thick and we don't back up to their real living space, but I know she probably can hear everything they do upstairs because we hear our upstairs neighbors all the time. We have, however, noticed that they don't seem to be good neighbors, with their guests parking in reserved spots (ours at times), etc. So probably everyone in the whole stairwell (all 5 other apartments, who knows?) are irritated with her. Alisha has been dealing with it the way most adults would by informing the office, who then is sending her 10 days comply or vacate notices about the noise policies. So come on, Office Staff, clearly this is not the exemplary neighbors.

A few days later everyone in the stairwell gets a notice from the office requesting that whoever is spitting stops, since it is bothering the residents next door. Now, if I were the target, I would consider that I had probably pissed someone off and either apologize and work it out or zip my lip, since someone that immature is only going to be egged on the more attention is drawn to their work... it's an obvious pattern that emerges in 2-year-olds and never disappears for some.

After the notice, the spit continues to show up daily. I called the office one day to request a maintenance guy to come fix something and they mentioned it to me and happened to mention that the lady next door to us claims this started when we moved in.

WHAT?!?!?!

Our interaction with this neighbor has thus far consisted of "Hi" if we run into each other going out to our cars. That's it. No more - no arguments, no complaints, no snide run-ins, unless you count us leaving a polite note on their guest's car when they were in our spot, a snide run-in (and they don't eve know that we know it was their guest, the car was gone when we got up in the morning).

Of course, my defenses go up right away but I calmly say, "Well, I can assure you that, especially with a new baby, we have way more interesting things to do than spit on our neighbor's doorstep." And then, of course, they backtrack and say things like "of course, of course, could you just keep an eye out and let us know if you see anything, and have Jesse do that too."

Sure, I said, meanwhile thinking that leaving spit on someone's doorstep is sounding more and more appealing. If our neighbors treated anyone less mature like that, I can see why they would be a target (although the whole thing is ridiculous).

A few days ago, we found another notice stuck in our door:

Dear Residents:
Someone has been consistently spitting piles of spit in front of Apartment XX. This is very disgusting and completely unnecessary. It is obvious that XX is being targeted by someone for an unknown reason. Whatever the reason is, the spitting must stop immediately.

It goes on to list the harassment policies here with a statement that they are going to increase surveillance to find out who the "perpetrator" is.

We ran into our neighbor on our way into the apartment the other day, and she pointed it out to me and said how annoying it was.

Yeah, I said, that is so gross and irritating - there's also some down on the landing all the time too. She asked me to let her know if I ever saw anyone do it. "Sure," I said. "We're not the ones doing it."

"Yeah, I know," she replied, "It's just so gross." (Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "If you know it's not us, then why are you implying to the office that we are doing it, huh, lady?)

The next day, I opened my door and was assaulted by the overwhelming smell of Simple Green. Peeking my head out, I saw that the doorstep of the neighbor and the entire stairwell was doused. Gross. So now instead of just dodging a little bit of spit in the stairs, I have to track Simple Green into our apartment and car each time I haul the carseat in and out of the house.

*Sigh*

What is wrong with people and when will this end? I'm sick of getting notices and feeling like the office views us as suspects.

My theory: She's the culprit, trying to stir up trouble and get someone else kicked out. I'll let you know if it ever resolves...

For a good laugh...

2010-01-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

Go read Taylor's blog at The Lumberjack's Wife if you want to hear about her potty-training escapades told in hilarious style... Thus far she has two installments:
Day 1
Day 2
She had me cracking up telling about her attempt to potty train her "2.75 year old son"

Fifteen Surprises (and 3 non-surprises) in 8 weeks

2010-01-13T09:12:00.000-08:00

I thought I would have 8, but ended up with 15 things that I have been surprised by since having a baby.

1) How much I would love watching her stretch after she wakes up.

2) That swaddled babies would wake up damp and smell sweaty and stinky.

3) Just exactly how fast she would change.
4) How many hours I could spend each day just looking at her.

5) How much she would love just being completely naked and diaperless.
6) That getting her in and out of clothes would not really be as hard as everyone claimed it would be.

7) That she would have a flaming red hair in the sunlight.

8) That she would be sleeping for 6-7 hour stretches at night by 6 weeks of age.

9) How loved and trusted I would feel when she lays her head on my chest.

10) That cloth diapers wouldn't really be inconvenient or difficult, nor do they soak through more often than disposables.11) How increasingly important it would be that I spend time in the Word each day, morning and night, and even afternoon.

12) How expensive she would be.

13) How grateful I would be to have connections with other moms who have little kids.

14) How much I would love being at home full-time.

15) How utterly captivated I would be by her when she's sleeping and when she's smiling.
(P.S.
To the midwife who did my 3 week check up,

Things I am NOT surprised by:
1) the continued presence of stretch marks
2) the continued lack of abdominal strength
3) the continued need to lose weight
While these were things I was already completely aware of, thanks so much for pointing them out to to me just three weeks after pushing a baby out of my body. Since, you know, I was already feeling so very ATTRACTIVE.)

Never hope for something to write about

2010-01-12T23:34:00.000-08:00

I will never again hope that I have something interesting to say, because there is a good chance that that something will be bad...
Here are all the interesting things that happened yesterday. We have no money for groceries or the medical bills piling up thanks to a very short pay period for Jesse last month (praise the Lord for WIC is all I have to say, He truly provided that in the nick of time for us). My family's cat, Oliver, who we had since he was a kitten, passed away yesterday after 11 years of bringing our family joy. Adelaide refused to take a bottle for a solid hour. Then our laptop screen got a big crack in it when Jesse was moving it from the couch area to the dining room. And to top it all off, I thought American Idol was starting last night, but it turns out it wasn't starting until tonight.
Horrendous. I can definitely relate to Alexander. Maybe I'll move to Australia.

Today was much better all around, even though the same problems were all there. At least I ate healthy, did an intense ab workout, didn't snack a bunch, did some serious cleaning and organizing, and am happy with the way my house looks. I guess not having a computer available freed up some time. Now I'm off to bed with my book and snuggle time with Jesse. <3 A good way to end any day.

Birth Announcements

2010-01-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Today I absolutely MUST send out our birth announcements. Know why? They have a Christmas tree on them...that's right.

I was hoping to send them out the week between Christmas and New Year's and it would be so cute and Christmasy. They didn't even arrive until 3 days ago, meaning I have a box full of post-holiday cheer to distribute. And only 10 stamps. And no money to buy more stamps since Jesse's pay period was so short last month (thanks, Christmas holiday).

Getting them out is requiring a bit of creativity. I may have to use quarters to buy two books of stamps. Oh joy.

Hope I can get them out before April.

The Most Interesting Post You Will Ever Read

2010-01-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

I have felt very uninteresting the past few days. And when I'm not feeling uninteresting, I've been too busy. Plus, Adelaide has been squirmy during feedings the last couple of days, which make it way too hard to type while feeding her. All of these things add up into no blogging.

Have I mentioned that a year ago we were headed to Mexico for a week? Where we ate fresh oranges off our hostess' tree and spent all morning and afternoon fellowshipping and studying with other missionary candidates? Here's Bill and Tina (and Jesse). They're also raising support to join Sacred Road in Yakima. We just found out that they're also around 25% along with their monthly support pledges. We got to meet them in Mexico and then met their 4 girls in April last year. We love them and miss them.
One of the things I've been so busy doing is increasing my tennis score on Wii Sports, and let me tell you, I am now a pro tennis player. I keep imagining scenarios when it will be handy to be an expert at Wii tennis, and have yet to generate anything less than completely outlandish, but if I think of something, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, I will continue to hone my incredible skills at swinging a remote control at just the right time to hit a virtual ball - just in case it comes in handy eventually!

We also were supposedly having a party last night, wherein guys would play Risk (ugh) and girls would eat good food, take care of babies, paint pottery or cut out decorative snowflakes, and maybe watch a movie. Doesn't that sound fun? Unfortunately, I was the only girl in attendance, making that "fun" thing a little more difficult. Only one of my girlfriends was going to make it and then she remembered another obligation at church at the last minute. So I was one of those lonely housewives who stayed home and took care of her husband's friends while they ate and played games. It made me think of that scene in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" where Kate Hudson is doing her best to drive Matthew McConaughey away by hovering, putting out cigarettes, replacing all the junk food with healthy options and just generally being a nuisance. Instead of being obnoxious, I made chili and cornbread and brownies from scratch, which thrilled the 3 bachelors in attendance. Better yet, they took some of the brownies home with them, leading me to my next exciting announcement...

I'm participating in a BIGGEST LOSER CHALLENGE starting tomorrow! I haven't really decided whether I'm excited or dreading it, but maybe a bit of both. It is totally time to kick this big butt into gear and lose some weight. Some ladies on facebook, none of whom I have ever met in person, have all put $10 in a pot that now equals around $320 and whoever loses the highest percentage of body weight using only healthy eating and exercise by April 12, will win the pot. Now, I'd like to think I have a shot at the pot, but honestly, I lose weight sooooo slowly that I will be far from winning, even with the help of breastfeeding. The worst part of the challenge is that you have to... *shudder* post your weight for all the other participating women to see. YIKES, I am totally dreading that, since I am way overweight... but that alone is a big motivation to make this next 12 weeks count toward starting my post-baby weight-loss-get-in-shape regimen. Actually I have been doing that since shortly after she was born, so it won't be too much of a change except for more diligence in both eating well and exercising.
And last but not least, my baby all in pink and ready for church:
Maybe tomorrow I will have something more interesting to say... but for now this is as good as it gets...

Why I Wish We Had A Garage

2010-01-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

The love of my life occasionally pulls out his tools for some wood-working project or other.
This time he's making a beautiful Noah's Ark complete with beautiful wooden animals. If we weren't raising support to be missionaries, he would definitely love to be a "cobbler" (do I mean carpenter? whittler? yes... but if you don't understand this reference, you haven't seen "Away We Go" and you are definitely missing out, so go rent it or put it on your Netflix queue). Unfortunately, since we live in an apartment, this means I lose all functional use of my dining room when he's at home. At the time of this picture, he is at work and I made him tidy up his tools. This was his best shot, which isn't too bad. But it still looks like my living space has turned into a workshop. I so wouldn't put up with this if he wasn't so cute when he tries to dance.

P.S. I hate the word queue. I think it is ridiculous.

Daybook

2010-01-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

For today, the fourth of January,
Outside my window... drops of mist are gathering on the branches of the cedar, fog lies quietly over the valley, and the clouds block my view of the hills and mountains.
I am thinking... about how wonderful it is to be able to put my baby down to sleep without her stirring or fussing. Other thoughts center around my to-do list: wash diapers, bake bread, fold laundry, and working on some fun projects around the house.
I am thankful for... God's most recent surprise provision with an unexpected $300 appearing in our bank account (Jesse was going back over his December paycheck and was telling me earlier yesterday that he thinks they made a mistake unless it was an extremely short pay period, but he thought he should have been paid double what appeared in our account. We're not sure if this extra deposit is related to that or something else we weren't expecting... but it sure is needed this month!)
From the kitchen... breakfast dishes are crying out to be put away to make room for bread-baking day!
I am wearing... my nightgown and snuggly pink bathrobe with my warm brown slippers.
I am creating... pajama pants made out of used bed sheets for Jesse (pattern idea here) and knitting myself a pink hat.
I am going...to the leasing office to pay rent.
I am reading...Julie and Julia by Julie Powell, Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, and The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith.
I am hoping...the Lord will continue to strengthen my trust in Him in order to face all things with the peace and joy of knowing that my real home is with Him.
I am hearing...the breathtaking beauty of the Fleet Foxes and the bathroom fan, left on as white noise for Lyddie-loo
Around the house...requires more tidying but it's looking much better than it was yesterday! Laundry is piled into my baskets in the hallway and Jesse's tools are strewn about my dining room among a medley of recycled wood for the Noah's Ark he's creating for some of our dear friends' little girl.
One of my favorite things...is a crackling fire in January evenings!
A few plans for the rest of the week: all of our regular activities begin again this week, so we have church dinner and Bible study on Wednesday, Mother's Ministry on Thursday morning, dinner with a friend on Tuesday, a Deacon's meeting on Thursday evening... my goal is to finish up that pair of pajama pants that was intended as a Christmas present for my poor husband who has never had a nice pair of pj pants.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...how is she getting so big, so fast! Sweet Adelaide last week at 6-weeks old who is now reaching and batting at toys!
To take part in The Simple Woman's Daybook, click on the link!

Happiest Baby

2010-01-02T16:18:00.000-08:00

A friend recently gave me a video that she claimed really helped her with her newborn a few months back and, being desperate for some ideas on how to get Adelaide to be calm in the afternoons and evenings, I decided to watch it today. She's been extra fussy lately, which I expected to happen around 6 weeks, especially since I know most babies go through a big growth spurt during this time. However, it's so exhausting to listen to her fuss every time she's not being bounced on the ball, it makes me slightly crazy, especially when I'm home alone with her!
So, I watched this movie, and while I'm not usually a big "follower" of child development gurus (there are way too many wackos out there), I really liked this video. Dr. Harvey Karp wrote a book and now made a video called "The Happiest Baby on the Block," which, while claiming to be a new method is really just a review of common traditional ideas for calming fussy babies. What I liked, though, was the step-by-step method to give a starting point for helping calm and organize your infant. It was a good reminder to swaddle Lyddie up, since she spent a lot of time swaddled when we first brought her home but we have since just swaddled her at night. We swaddled her using his swaddling instructions, which were much tighter than the way we had been taught and put her down for a nap (she was still awake but we knew she was tired) and for the first time in a few weeks, she really just fell asleep on her own and has slept now for at least 4 hours. She squawked a few minutes ago but by the time I got up and in to her (30 seconds) she was already fast asleep again. She hasn't had this good of an afternoon nap for a while now, and I'm loving it. I'm hoping she wakes up well-rested and has a nice happy alert period for a while before a short nap in the early evening and then a nice good sleep tonight.
Anyway, I know I just watched the video today but all of his ideas are well-grounded and logical for organizing a baby's sensory system and I will definitely be using his ideas to see if I can help her stay calm for longer periods at a time.

New Year's Eve Lackaplans

2009-12-31T10:29:00.000-08:00

Here we are last on the edge between this year and the next. This year sure will look different than all our previous years. Tonight is a good demonstration of that. See, last year at this time, I was frantically cleaning and preparing fondue goodies for a great party we had. No babies were in attendance at the time, except my friend Shelan's baby in utero, who is now 9 months old. Here's a few of our friends who came. See? No babies:

Just food, friends, games, sparklers, champagne and sparkling cider and raucous fun.

And did I mention we were getting ready to go to a balmy Mexico village for a week in January for missionary training where we would enjoy summery weather and eat fresh oranges and homemade Mexican cooking by the sweet woman who hosted us?

This year, we are opting to stay in (I think) since Jesse has to work at 7 in the morning and I am baby-sitting a friend's almost-7 month old around the same time. Not that we think we're going to be in bed before midnight, since we are parents of Miss Crabby-Pants who refuses to even blink her eyes before 1 am most nights. And guess what? Staying in sounds glorious (as long as I don't think about Mexico). I am thinking about making some Chex mix and maybe some other goodies to go with our Very Exciting Sparkling Cider. We have a movie from Netflix waiting for us.

Although it might be hard to make a cool sparkler photo for 2010 with just the two of us. Do you think Adelaide might be able to grasp a sparkler yet?

Christmas in 15,000 words

2009-12-30T10:47:00.000-08:00

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this is a valuable post.

Home again

Diamond in the Rough

2009-12-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

The rough-looking diamond is put upon the wheel of the gem-smith. He cuts it on all sides. It loses much—much that seemed costly to itself. The king is crowned; the diadem is put upon the monarch’s head with trumpet’s joyful sound. A glittering ray flashes from that coronet, and it beams from that very diamond which was so recently fashioned at the wheel. You may venture to compare yourself to such a diamond, for you are one of God’s people; and this is the time of the cutting process. Let faith and patience have their perfect work, for in the day when the crown shall be set upon the head of the King, Eternal, Immortal, Invisible, one ray of glory shall stream from you.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Evidence That Daddy Needs More Sleep

2009-12-29T09:50:00.001-08:00

Dear Adelaide,

Because of your crazy sleep schedule in addition to our early morning flights to and from Spokane, your parents have not been getting enough sleep, although I have actually been sleeping pretty well since you go back to bed after your early morning feeding. Daddy, on the other hand, has it much worse, since he always has to go to work so early. If you have ever played the Sims computer game and can remember what an over-tired Sim who gets waken up before it's fully rested looks like, that's a good picture of your daddy in the morning. If you haven't played it, I'll describe it: grabbing his head and writhing, unintelligible grumbling and (probable) cursing under his breath, and quiet stomping around the house. This picture also can be seen late at night if he has had afternoon coffee and can't fall asleep. This is not very fun for him or for your mommy, since she worries that it will wake you and the whole routine will start over again.
The best evidence that daddy is not getting enough sleep is when he goes out to his truck to go to work and has to make four trips into the house to get stuff he forgot. For example, this morning, he came back in a second time for his phone and a third time for his wallet, leaving his truck running. When he went back out, he discovered that he had locked the only key we have in the running truck (the other key is with my parents who drove us to the airport (yes, I know we should have more than two keys and I think this will be remedied soon)). He then had to call into work and tell them he would be late and wait for the locksmith to come and get his key out of his (still running) truck.
And when I called him at work, his main concern with this ordeal was that he was going to have to work later and probably wouldn't get home early enough for a good nap.

See? Poor daddy. I know everyone feels bad for new mommies but I think he is suffering from the lack of sleep much more than I am! Maybe you should try sleeping a little earlier, sweet girl, and also not insisting that daddy is the one who helps you fall asleep. Mommy can do that job too, you know.

Love,
Your mommy

P.S. I would much prefer to see this face each morning than the one described above

Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

For once, I ended up with a lot of really great Christmas pictures, but thanks to slow internet connection up here on the mountain, it would take me all day just to add a few, so I think I'll wait until we go home to post pictures of our time here. Christmas with the Dempsen side of the family is always an adventure full of laughter, games, relaxation, and food... We are so blessed to have such a wonderful family who loves us and loves (read: spoils) our baby girl! Jesse's parents live up on Mt. Spokane, which really is more of a large hill compared to the mountains I'm used to near Seattle. They have a beautiful piece of property in the woods and I love tramping around in the woods. With Sweet Miss, it's kind of hard to get out in the cold, although I am seriously considering bundling her up later this afternoon and sticking her in her wrap for a little tiny hike. There are a few inches of snow on the ground and trees, and the sun shining through the branches takes my breath away. The difference between seasons here is striking and it's hard during these visits to recall visiting in summer and sitting out on the porch with my coffee each morning while watching hummingbirds flash between trees and feeders above my head. These wintry trips bring back memories from when were just engaged of snowball fights and sledding, snow angels and falling down in pillows of snow, reminiscent of idyllic Christmas activities found in songs and stories.
I love spending time with Jesse's sister Holly; it's such a treat to spend time with her. Her quiet presence is full of love and compassion, and watching her with Adelaide fills me with joy. This is the first Christmas in both of our families with a baby, and it is thrilling to imagine the busy-ness and child-focused fun that is to come with more and more children in each family. Christmas is so fun with kids and the past few years I have longed to start that phase of our lives. Now here we are and I am loving it! It has been so fun to watch each of our siblings fall in love with Lyddie as they hold her, she brings out a gentle side even in our rough and tumble, sarcastic, and manly teenage brothers. I love seeing the genuine smiles for pictures from junior high boys (soon to be shared in another post) which are hard to come by these days.
What a beautiful Christmas this has been. As I get older, I realize more and more the significance of what we are celebrating, and am so thankful above all for the incarnation of the Christ, a scandal of epic proportions. He has blessed us far beyond all we could ask or imagine.
Merry Christmas to all!