Settling

Fall is certainly here.  We spend the majority of our days indoors, as the seeping fog makes the coziness of warm home-life that much more inviting.  The garden is empty and brown and crunchy yellow leaves underfoot crackle when I hurry out to feed the chickens.  We took the girls, along with my visiting parents, to the arboretum in town the other day and enjoyed the brilliant sunshine and glowing leaves. The arboretum has a bird blind you can hind behind to watch birds eat.  I think we will revisit it in a month and see how things have changed.  I am turning my thoughts quickly toward Christmas and gifts, with the always-present question of finances in view.  But every year we make ends meet and it works out. 

We have paid off a couple medical bills from Rosie's birth- smallish ones - in the past couple months simply by making minimum payments.  That is a wonderful feeling, to cross off our fourth debt on our debt snowball plan before we even officially start our debt snowball.  We are still attempting to accumulate an emergency fund, but the problem is, we end up with a lot of emergencies.  I continue to pray daily for God's providence and most of the time it is more and more possible to do so with an attitude of thanksgiving for the sure providence to come rather than with anxiety and fear.  Proverbs 30:7-9 comes frequently to mind-

Two things I ask of you;

deny them not to me before I die:

8 Remove far from me falsehood and lying;

give me neither poverty nor riches;

feed me with the food that is needful for me,

9 lest I be full and deny you

and say, “Who is the Lord?”

or lest I be poor and steal

and profane the name of my God.

We are preparing to celebrate Lyddie's fourth birthday.  We are having a party with our friends and family in the area.  Living in a broken community with grief and sadness means finding the good things to celebrate, so we try to make a big deal of God's blessings, of which Lyddie is one of our biggest.  She is a determined, vibrant, bright, helpful little girl. Yesterday she spent a long time with a wet rag washing the white doors around our house from little fingerprints and grime.  I am so proud of her and it baffles my mind that it has already (only?) been four years since I was in labor with her and eager to meet the bundle that would change my life forever.  This parenting journey she started me on has been lovely, difficult, messy, joyful, agonizing, and wonderful, terrifying, sweet, and wonderful.