This week has been an emotional one, to say the least. Some of it is clearly hormones but I am definitely a sentimental person as it is and even without all the hormone changes I tend to be a "weepy" type of person anyways, so it doesn't take much to set me off. But it's mostly just happy tears when I realize what a blessing this precious bundle is and think about watching her grow up and teaching her about life and Jesus. I love her so much; I love her sweet face, her tiny body, her little squeaky sounds, even her cry. I love her bright blue eyes, her red hair, her long fingers and long toes, and her bony little bottom. I love the way she nestles into me, the way she calms when she comes back to me after being held by others, the way she gazes at my face as though trying to uncover some great mystery. In reality, I am the one gazing at her trying to uncover the mystery and she is just learning my face to match my voice. I love her little internal smiles, her slow, writhing movements, and her persistence in trying to get her little hands up to her mouth for sucking. I love watching her nurse, watching her sleep, watching her be calm and alert, and even watching her fuss, as hard as that can be. I love learning the ins and outs of her little personality, and love even more the thought of continuing to do that as she gets bigger and older.
My most frequent prayer is that she come to know and love Jesus the way I love Him. My next prayer is for strength, patience, and wisdom in how to help her to do that. I feel so ill equipped sometimes for this whole parenting adventure, but I know He will guide us each step. I am excited and filled with such joy and gratitude for this most precious of gifts.