It is getting harder and harder to get up and down off the floor working with kids, and I go home with aching back and hips almost every day, but I keep telling myself I'd probably feel that way with any other job too, it's just part of pregnancy, so I try not to just keep moving through the day. I'm so tired a lot of the time right now, too, especially since I'm up and down throughout the night and it's hard to get comfortable when I climb back into bed- and I know that will only get worse! Work is a little stressful right now, as well, since everyone's schedule changes so much each fall, and I'm trying to make sure all of my families are taken care of somehow when I go out on leave. It's getting harder to focus during certain parts of my day, especially in the afternoon when I usually have time scheduled for paperwork at my desk. I feel like I did at the beginning of my pregnancy again, where it's so hard for me to prioritize. Making lists and prioritizing is usually one of my strengths but I feel like anytime I have any sort of hormonal shift (like when I started and stopped birth control and when I first got pregnant) it really affects my ability to come up with a plan and tackle projects.
It's not just work, I feel like that around the house right now. I have all of these things I want and mean to do (like dishes, putting away laundry, finishing knitting a baby sweater and a baby blanket, making phone calls, meal planning... anything) and I get completely overwhelmed and so I do nothing - or just some small, unimportant task and then I sit back down and do nothing. When I say nothing, I mean it literally - I might sit on the couch for an hour just sitting and petting my kitties. Maybe my brain is making me do that because my body needs me to, but it is hard for me because I usually feel best when I have accomplished a lot by the end of the day. I didn't even realize how hard it is on me until I started typing this out... I didn't even realize I was feeling that way! Once again, the disorganization of thoughts appears.
Jesse is so good and helps so much, so it's not like I feel the housework is all on me, but I LIKE taking care of our house and doing all the little things that, when added up, overwhelm me right now. He just folded all the laundry, helped clean off the bills and junk mail piled on the table, and offered to clean up the kitchen, so I'm really blessed to have a husband who looks to help me with the house. It all boils down to my silly drive to be productive that I need to put away for now, since that drive is going to have to rest after the baby comes anyway. In the meantime, I will try to just do what I can and allow myself to rest, since there is surely a good reason I feel like I need to! I think I just didn't mentally prepare myself for that, and mentally identifying the issue will help me to be conscious of it!
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