Monday, May 25, 2015

so patient

happy car washers
rainbow promise in the sky reminding that He has a good plan
that girl who made sure to pose in front of the rainbow; oh yes, He has a good plan
vibrant sun sinking over the mountains
freckles splashed across noses
honey locust sapling to help toward a "shady grove"
blossoms of sunshine against spines (isn't that prickly pear gorgeous and terrifying?)
the small purr of a furry baby

hands in the soil
summer weather come early
picnic table in the making by one talented husband
new garden beds of fragrant cedar
four basil sprouts discovered among the weeds

hot sun and thunder and hail and wind and hot sun again

I have struggled the past few weeks to maintain joy, to find beauty in the small things, to grab hope and see meaning in the mundane of my life.  There isn't just one specific reason for this struggle, I suppose, although we are moving quickly into summer and summers are difficult for me because of the nature of our community.  I end up a little extra lonely but I am learning (slowly and with great angst) that loneliness is not the end of the world nor does it last forever.  With the big seasonal shift for us and uncertainty of how another summer will go, it is tempting to unleash Cranky Mommy (or maybe that has to do with the multiple children at differing levels of potty training throughout the day and night, and the extra laundry and bedding to be washed as a result... hmmmm). 

So today I was determined to fight that Crankster who wants to bubble up and out.  I pulled out my Thankful Journal (so named by my children) and recorded several thanksgivings before the day even began.  I had it open on the table as I moved through the day, and though I only wrote a few more down, even the sight of it lying open with numbered blessings scrawled across the pages was a reminder of the many gifts my good Shepherd has given me and has in store for me.  I also kept my camera closer at hand and sought to capture some of those gifts to review and remember this evening. At the top of my weekly calendar I scribbled and highlighted "LOVE IS PATIENT" - my Lord's love for me is so patient and kind, so why would I be impatient and unkind, demanding more of others than He demands from me?  

So that's where I'm at, my friends.  I will fight hard for joy in Christ because He has fought for me.  It's amazing how a few practical actions and plans at the beginning of the day helped shift the tone of my heart and mind.  What do you do when the Crank is crying to be let out?  


  1. I so hear you. This is why I have started a Thankful Thursday post every week - and my picture for it is a rainbow for God's promise. It is one of my favourite symbols. In fact, when I have my farm shop it will be called Rainbow's Promise Food Farm (praying for this to happen one day).
    It is a struggle every day - it is so much easier to give in to misery and wallow in it. I am a melancholic/phlegmatic personality, so believe me, I've been there! And still spend a lot of time there!
    Sometimes, even though I know what a blessing my hubby and children are, it is hard to see it. But Jesus is always there and praying always helps me. It centres me and calms me down when I am feeling put upon and as though noone cares or notices me.
    I will keep you in my prayers that the summer is not too lonely for you. I found when we were far away from home, that the people I could chat with on the internet were a real God send.
    And your photos are gorgeous - those little girls are just so adorable!

  2. So, I'm looking at that prickly pear blossom and am caught up in the consideration of how among all those thorns, God brings forth a lovely gentle yellow bloom. So like our offerings of gratitude amidst the thorns of life. :) Giving thanks in all things, in the midst of all things, seems to be the balm for weary souls. :) Have a great week, Sarah!

  3. I have felt very similar lately as well! The mundane and the loneliness that always comes and goes has come again, and I hardly know why. But I think I am on the rise out of it...I try to keep verses and themes in my head (such as "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"), and I crave making more time for devotions, even if it means getting up earlier. Lately, I have learned how much I need his Spirit, and it has become my prayer. I will continue fighting for joy with you!

    And I do see joy in your pictures! I think it's just hiding ;) Really, the car washing and the cat pictures are so, so cute!!! You have such beautiful girls!