Sunday, November 29, 2015


For a time, a child of my heart lived with us.  It was not long enough, not nearly long enough, then she was gone and then not gone and then gone and then not gone. I miss her even when she's nearby.  I want her always and love her. I don't talk about her here much because what can I say to the world? This I can say:

Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him is my salvation, He only is my rock, my strength and my salvation.

My time with her changed me in so many ways, for better or maybe for worse, who knows?  Change is change.  The wounding that I knew all along was inevitable is deep and it's like it's trying to heal but I'm not sure it's healing right and I'm not sure I want it to heal because I don't know what that means. 

It is amazing that I can be so happy with gratitude and sad with longing all at the same time.  The secret comes best when I am trusting that He is who He said He is and then there can be joy no matter what emotion accompanies it.  Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and promises that He will lose none that are given to Him by the Father and that is good news of great joy for all people. "The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens.  Advent is the name of that moment." - Frederick Buechner


  1. "It is amazing that I can be so happy with gratitude and sad with longing all at the same time. " No truer words have been spoken. Healing doesn't mean forgetting. Joy comes in the morning.

  2. May the Lord bless you and your heart with healing and endless love,

  3. I well understand the feeling of being happy and sad at the same time. You're a lovely, warmhearted person and I know she feels your care and affection.

  4. I've wondered about her and I can see you lover her so. I hope and pray that your paths intertwine and intersect in many ways. Hugs!

  5. I hope to get our tree this weekend. Time will tell...